Why??

[Brenda Freeman]

I had always loved when the Christmas catalogs from Sears and Montgomery ward arrived in the mail,when I was probably from 6 years old on. I liked the toy section but always went to the lingerie section too. I loved the look of the slips girdles and all in ones. When I was maybe 9 or 10 and home alone I went into my moms drawer hoping to find lingerie, I pulled out a girdle with garter snaps some stockings and put them on because I wanted too Not curious I WANTED TO. I so loved how it looked the gusset was smooth and flat like the women in the catalogs. Loved the look and it felt so snug and wonderful. I loved looking in the mirror and spent sometime posing. I loved that and the feel, I added a white slip with lace and have loved it ever since though I did not get my own until years (decades) Later. If Santa had brought me what I really wanted I would have been in girdles and lingerie at a very early age. It was how women looked in the catalogs and how I wanted to look that got me going and once I tried them on,the feel of wearing the clothes was a real plus.

[Confucius]

I believe our brains become hard-wired in early childhood to become predisposed toward cross-dressing. Then when we reach puberty we discover that just touching some feminine clothing gives us a thrill. The experience releases dopamine and other neurotransmitters which produce the sensations and expectations of gratification similar to an addiction response.

In my case my mother wanted a daughter. I was born. However a year later she gave birth to my sister. My mother would tell stories about how badly she wanted a girl when I was born, and how I was such a disappointment. However a year later she gave birth to a daughter and that was the happiest day of her life. My sister was pampered, and spoiled rotten. I grew up thinking that all parents prefer girls because girls are smarter and prettier. Girls had it better in life - they got all the pretty things, and everyone made such a fuss over them. I believed that my mother would have loved me more if I was born a girl. When I was about 3-4 years old I started playing dress up by going into my mom's closet and playing with her things. This never ended well. That was when I was introduced to aversion therapy.

I gave up cross-dressing for a few years, at least until puberty hit. Once the testosterone started flowing then everything changed and cross-dressing because a sexual thing.

[Glenda58]

When I was about 4 a young girl about 6 was if her friends and she watching for my mother. And she had me and another girl exchange cloths even underwear and she put lipstick on me that got from her mother and we stay that for hours and I liked it. Years later while in Boy Scouts they needed someone to dress up as a female a skit since I was the smallest it was me. I had to try on skirts and tops with petticoats and frilly lace panties by then I was 10 and now I can stop at 66

[NicoleScott]

Did you know that our memory for odors is stronger than all the other senses.

I believe it! When my wife and I went to bed one night, I detected something I hadn't smelled in over 25 years, and I knew instantly what it was: she got a perm in her hair that day. I remember my mom and sister getting Toni home perms long ago. That smell was still in my memory.
I also agree with you about the smell of lipstick. Nowadays, those great scents are mostly gone, and some lipstick smells are downright unpleasant. But the other reasons for applying lipstick override. Those great lipstick scents of the past were just a bonus.

[Confucius]

Okay, lets look at this analytically. 95% of the male population feels nothing special from wearing lingerie and stilettos, except overwhelming humiliation. Most real females will only wear dresses for special occasions, and they say pantyhose feels uncomfortable. Most real females say it is much more comfortable to wear androgynous clothing. For us wearing petticoats, wigs, make-up, etc, is just a wonderful fulfilling pleasure. What makes us different? What made us this way?

It has to be the way our brain is wired. In our early childhood our brains were programmed to associate cross-dressing with female contact. When we cross-dress our brain interprets it as contact with a female and releases dopamine and a host of neurotransmitters. This neurotransmitters produce the sensations of well-being and sexual gratification. It affects the reward centers of our brain, instant gratification, and thus it mimics the addiction response.

This couldn't start in puberty. The first time you cross-dressing during puberty was already a thrilling experience, so you had to be hard-wired much earlier than that. Most likely in early childhood, when our brains are very plastic, and the connections are just being made, we made the connections. When you were a wee little boy, (2-4 years old) you craved the love and attention of your mother. You wanted that contact, but you don't believe you got your needs met. Then you made the association that females had it better in life, mothers prefer girls, your mother would have loved you more if you were born a girl. Whatever it was, there was some form of female envy. There was a childhood perception that became a reality in adulthood.

Even if cross-dressing doesn't make logical sense as an adult, the sensations (neurotransmitters) are indeed a reality. The reality is it makes you happy. Perception is reality.

[SometimesBrandi]

I believe it! When my wife and I went to bed one night, I detected something I hadn't smelled in over 25 years, and I knew instantly what it was: she got a perm in her hair that day. I remember my mom and sister getting Toni home perms long ago. That smell was still in my memory.
I also agree with you about the smell of lipstick. Nowadays, those great scents are mostly gone, and some lipstick smells are downright unpleasant. But the other reasons for applying lipstick override. Those great lipstick scents of the past were just a bonus.

I believe the scent I'm attracted to is ambergris. Ambergris used to be an ingredient in the more expensive lipsticks and it was also used in perfumes. It's been banned in the US since 1973 so that probably explains why I can't find that smell on new lipstick. Probably for the better. Save the whales and all that.

[Stacy L]

,




One night just before I turned 5 I was beamed up to a large black oblong thing in the sky where they hooked me up to some machines that were covered with flashing lights and tubes.
It's rather vague but I think they contaminated my DNA or Genes, this hasn’t been confirmed though, but I’ve had these feelings since.


I have a bridge for sale too.




.

[mykell]

it started at a young age, growing up feeling guilty, shameful about it, why was i cursed with this, since joining i feel why was i blessed with this, so i guess for me because i could,

why does a dog lick himself ?

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Staci, It all probably started when I was two or three days old when my
mom dressed me in that little white receiving dress when
mom & dad brought me home from the hospital.

Then when I was four or five pulling on a pair of moms nylons and hi-heels
and I never looked back, At almost 71 dressing is now more fun than ever.

[Billiejosehine]

I myself never knew why I began CDing: maybe it is because I have done it since I was a child, maybe it's because I am more feminine, maybe I grew up as the only guy in my family, maybe it was because I was bullied, or maybe it's because when I was 15 my sisters friend dared me to put on a bra. As a Behavorist maybe it's the attention, access, or a sensory issue. But all I know is how I feel and what I want. Instead of asking why, I need learn to accept myself for who I am.

[Adriana Moretti]

I always loved soft materials like silk...things guys never wore, I like the way a women looked in a skirt, how women had many more options than men. I was always into the fashion side of dressing myself...then there are heels...omg!!!

[CarlaWestin]

Mom's bra. I kept checking in to see it just lying there, folded neatly in the drawer. And then one day, it talked to me..........

[Victoria Davison]

When I was a younger teenager, home alone after school each day and hormones raging, and no internet at that time, I would scour our house for anything sex-related. Women's catalogs with underwear models were my first exposure to women in what one could consider sexual clothing, so that was probably a big imprint for me. With that fixed in my mind, that place to go to next was my mom's closet, and while hardly anything fit (and I most likely stretched out a couple of her wardrobe items!) I was hooked.

I remember going to K-mart and buying a package of thigh-high stockings for myself and the cashier didn't say anything but I blurted out "It's for my sister!" (I have no sister btw). Oh the memories of my silly teenage self...

[EarringGirl]

After many years of introspection about why I am like this, I think I finally realized it's because I was abused (not sexually) as a child by my father. My sister, on the other hand, wasn't; she was put on a pedestal. Early on (about the age of 6 or so?) I started sneaking into my mother's closet when I had the chance (when everyone was in the family room watching TV) and putting on her clothes as an unconscious escape mechanism. Girls weren't abused, so I think part of me wanted to be one to get away from the abuse.

As I got older, the urge to dress waxed and waned depending on whether my father was away on business trips and how much abuse I'd taken recently.

[KristinTX]

I remember my first time.........it was like a magnet drew me to the chest of drawers at the neighbor's house where I was babysitting. I went through he undergarments and pulled out a pair of pantyhose.........Why? Still no clue! Put on her pantyhose, which I never had even thought about before and left them on for a couple hours. Hooked without even knowing what the bait was or that I was being fished.

[Kagji]

Uh... To be honest, porn. I stumbled across a CD video around... 14, I think and that was it. I've wanted to do it ever since and before now would only occasionally wear panties, pretty gloves, socks and other suck things only in my room and for very short periods of time. After my dream of enlisting in the Marines fell through I talked to my boyfriend about it and here I am.

[bimini1]

This thread is fascinating. So many different stories with common elements and vivid recollections.

[Launa]

I believe it! When my wife and I went to bed one night, I detected something I hadn't smelled in over 25 years, and I knew instantly what it was: she got a perm in her hair that day. I remember my mom and sister getting Toni home perms long ago.

When I was in high school my girl friend gave me a perm, her and her sisters were always getting them back in the day. At first I acted reluctant but after a while I said what the heck as her friends were over at the house that day too and everybody said to go for it. As it turned out there was already a box of Toni perm in her house, ready to go so out came the perm rods and they went to work...

[Tina B.]

I was 6, 64 years ago, but I remember it like it was yesterday. I went into the bathroom getting ready to take a bath. There hanging on a hook on the back of the door was a white nylon slip, my sisters. It was just hanging there laughing at me daring to try it on, I've never passed on a dare, big brother wouldn't let me, so I took that slips dare and put it on, Oh it felt good, but more important, for me, it felt right, not naughty. Well with a big brother like mine, it didn't take a genius to figure out, keeping this to myself would be a good idea.
While learning to dress from a dirty clothes basket might sound icky to some, it did have the bonus of all of the lovely smells of womanhood, and it was private and safe. When I got a little bigger, and could find time alone, I moved to sisters closet, she had some great clothes.
As we grew up, my sister joined a club that was very formal, in fact They actually wore formals to special events at least a few times a year, Sis always got a new one for each event, mom was great with a sewing machine and it left a lot of formal clothes in the closet that didn't get used much, except by me.
I loved playing with the hoop for the hoop skirts, strangest form of a slip I've ever gotten to play with. An open frame of hoops and straps to hold them together it always make me smile putting it on, and layering crinoline slips over it.
Wish that slip had never dared me, I've spent a lot of time and money chasing that feeling I found in that bathroom at 6 years old. If I ever did anything, or thought of it before that day, I don't remember, but that first day with that plain white nylon slip sent me on a life time journey.

[Wildaboutheels]

The evidence for the major [or almost always at least one "contributing"] CAUSE of WHY is overwhelming at this site alone. Even if one never bothers to read the Qs or responses.

This site posts the FACTS everywhere in the form of #s scattered about the site in various places. I don't think this is any accident. Members are free of course to ignore these #s.

I find it ironic that ONLY members have access to these #s and that so few choose to utilize them.

[Lisa.Stevenson]

The most prevalent "WHY" I can think of: When I was 13-15 years old I had absolutely limited social skills and dare I say zero success attracting women. right about then was when I started crossdressing. I'm no psychologist but maybe it was a way to get that female contact that I was unable to get at the time. I guess it's a part of me now because my social skills sharpened up but the crossdressing kept going on :P

[Valarie]

My therapist and I have talked about this a little. I remember at a young age I would sleep with a silky night gown that my mom had as like a security blanket. When I got to the age of 4 when my little brother came she took it from me and said, "boys don't sleep with things like this anymore." I remember feeling really sad; after that I loved the feel of women's clothes, how it felt on my skin and made me feel happy and secure. When I got to puberty it became more of a sexual thrill but now it has returned to that feeling of happiness and security.

[Edm_Jamie]

I was 5yrs old and when I was playing with the neighbour girl, I saw black patent tap dance shoes in her closet. Like a moth to a flame, I had to try them on. The rest is history.

[irene9999]

Interesting question, I'd say in my case it was as simple as I thought the clothes were pretty and wanted to try them on. Also, I was really skinny as a teenager so in my mind I think I just figured they would look good in me since I was about the same size as most girls my age.

[Confucius]

It's part of our biology. Our brains are hardwired to release dopamine and other neurotransmitters when we feminize ourselves. These neurotransmitters produce the sensations of well-being, pleasure, gratification and bonding that we love.

To give you more information on our biology: Your brain goes through a couple of critical periods of producing neural connections. (In biological terms this is called synaptogenesis.) It is interesting to know that you have more neural connections when you are 12 months old (just a baby) than at any point in your life. Then you go through a period of removing connections that don't make sense, and reinforcing those connections that do make sense. It's is believed to be part of the learning process. (In biological terms this is called synaptic pruning.) Now the funny part. Sometimes you keep some neural connections that don't make a lot of sense. For instance some people see colors associated with numbers. When stimulation in one sensory pathway produces an involuntary, automatic experience in a secondary sensory pathway it is called synesthesia.

It is only a theory, but cross-dressing may just be a form of synesthesia.