What Caused You to Become a Crossdresser?

[LilSissyStevie]

Cross dressing can be no more genetic than riding a bicycle or eating spaghetti. How the sexes dress is a historical/cultural phenomenon not a genetic one. The gene/hormonal wash/DES arguments are, IMO, just pseudo-scientific updates of the "devil makes me do it" argument. In my case Confucius has it pretty much nailed except that I don't believe I "interpret cross-dressing as actual contact with a female." For me it is just the fetishization of childhood emasculation trauma. I find it cathartic the same way that some rape victims find it cathartic to fantasize about rape scenarios. I don't really fully understand how that works but I know it does. Compared to some of the other ways I have expressed PTSD, my CD/emasculation fetish is pretty benign.

Either that or Cthulhu makes me do it.

[PaulaQ]

Cross dressing can be no more genetic than riding a bicycle or eating spaghetti. How the sexes dress is a historical/cultural phenomenon not a genetic one.

Yes, but there is generally a difference. It doesn't matter so much what the differences is between the way the sexes present themselves - why does there need to be a difference at all? Some of that difference is, at minimum, accounted for by the differences in the shapes of men's and women's bodies. And that IS genetic.

The gene/hormonal wash/DES arguments are, IMO, just pseudo-scientific updates of the "devil makes me do it" argument.

Why then do so many of you appear to suffer from a mild form of gender dysphoria? It's way milder than the full-blown nasty version I got - but there are many common characteristics - so many that it's more or less impossible to tell, for certain, who's a CD, and who's a TS, until AFTER the fact of the TS transitioning! And there is plenty of evidence that there is at least a genetic component to transsexualism.

[tammie]

HI Loves: I remember being forced to put on a party dress my older sister had outgrown when I was about 4yo , humiliated infront of my sister and her little friends complete with lacy socks and maryjanes , htne when I was 14yo a very sexy MILF told me I should be wearing a bra since as she said "my tits were bigger than hers".

A week later I picked up and put on my sisters black lacecup underwire Vassarette bra a 36C and it fit me like I was measured for it , and I almost feinted from the sensation and knew instantly I was a CD and a sissy boi forever, but it was only few months before I got really started being a femme sissy man .

My mom caught me so many times she bought me my own bra slip and pantygirdle. She gave me pills to grow more breast tissue and took me to h er gay friends for the bieds and bees talk (I got a demo too) . Now I cd and have sissy sex often, and fill up a 42C bra

[Melissa18]

I really believe this, if my mum didn't have that yellow dress hanging in her closet when I was about 4yo, i blame it on the dress!
Seriously I think it is the way I'm wired, I just feel I should have been born female

[LilSissyStevie]

Paula,

The variation among individuals is MUCH greater than the variation between groups. So the fact that one can find small statistical differences between the aggregate of men and the aggregate of women doesn't mean diddly squat. Individual men and women are all over the place with respect to characteristics. I believe that all CDs experience gender dysphoria, however mild, in the sense that gender is a social construction and dysphoria is a feeling of incongruence with that. The only real difference I see between CDs and TSs is something called "gender identity." That's not an insignificant matter and I don't claim to have any understanding of it. For me, my gender identity was formed by a definition:"boys have penises." I have a penis therefore I'm a boy. That doesn't seem to work for TSs.

[PaulaQ]

The variation among individuals is MUCH greater than the variation between groups. So the fact that one can find small statistical differences between the aggregate of men and the aggregate of women doesn't mean diddly squat.

There are marked and identifiable physical differences between genders, and the typical shapes and sizes of their bodies. Believe me, if there weren't, transition would be as simple as changing clothes. Things such as height, fat distribution, muscle mass, breast development have a big impact on clothing design. There's a reason a lot of us look like "a guy in a dress!"

There are other differences that aren't really clothing related as well:
- various facial features
- facial / body hair

Individual men and women are all over the place with respect to characteristics. I believe that all CDs experience gender dysphoria, however mild, in the sense that gender is a social construction and dysphoria is a feeling of incongruence with that. The only real difference I see between CDs and TSs is something called "gender identity." That's not an insignificant matter and I don't claim to have any understanding of it. For me, my gender identity was formed by a definition:"boys have penises." I have a penis therefore I'm a boy. That doesn't seem to work for TSs.

Why then do many CDs here have gender expressions that seem to involve the appearance of their physical body?
- breast forms
- wigs
- shaving everything (or more extreme laser or electrolysis)
- Body shapers of various sorts

I agree with you that the gender identity of CDs and TSs is different. Y'all identify as male, we identify as female. Whether or not one has a penis doesn't enter into the matter at all - that's your sex, not your gender. Your gender is a matter of what's between your ears. Unfortunately, given the current state of the world and our society, the impetus to deny that one is TS remains very strong, so strong that it's often quite difficult to pin one of us down as TS until we transition. Sure, some of us freak out at age 5 when we get dressed in the wrong clothing and have to transition young, but most don't. This is one of my main problems with theories that separate gender expression from gender identity - it sure doesn't seem to be the case in some of the worst affected suffers of GD!

BTW, that article you posted a while back about the identity defense model of gender identity posits that CDs and TSs are in fact related.

[natcrys]

This again? I thought this was settled science. CDing is caused by guitar-playing. Or maybe vice versa. Nothing to fret about.

I see what you did there.. :p

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Confucius, I think that it all started when I was about two or three days old when my mom dressed
me in that little white receiving gown to go home from the Hospital.

[kimdl93]

There is a growing body of evidence that there is a genetic and developmental, that is hormonal influences in the womb, that lead individuals to be CDrs. The anecdotal evidence on life experiences is less compelling.

[Madilyn A.]

Confucius, Your story so describes mine. I was told at a very early age, that I should have been born a girl, that my parents had a boy already 2 1/2 yrs older and wished I had been a girl. My brother and older male cousins also used to terrorize me and echo my parents comments. By 5 yrs. old I was well on my way as a young crossdresser. The rest of your story is spot on as well.

[Dianne S]

I am actually TS, but for a long time I thought I was "just" a cross-dresser.

I'm convinced it has to do with brain chemistry. I believe there's some sort of biological cause behind most types of transgenderism. Whether it happened in the womb or afterwards, I do not know.

[Brittany CD]

I will probably never know. I don't really think about what made me want to crossdress

[NicoleScott]

When I saw "crossdresser" in the title, I thought of men who identify as men and who like to crossdress, as opposed to transsexuals who may "crossdress" for entirely different reasons. There must be different causes for such different drives to crossdress. Confucius told his story, never mentioning being a TS, having gender identity issues, wanting to transition...etc... just those events that led to a boy becoming a crossdresser.
In this and previous discussions of crossdressing causes, some believe "it" to be genetic. If "it" is the drive to crossdress for reasons other than sex/gender mismatch, I'm not on board. At whatever arbitrary point that ape evolved into human, lost hair and began to wear animal skins, clothing was functional. Distinctions between what was considered male clothing and female clothing happened, in the deep time of evolution, a blink ago.
Have they found that pantyhose gene yet?

[Tinkerbell-GG]

Have they found that pantyhose gene yet?

lol, I was thinking the same! Of course there's not a crossdressing gene - that's scientifically absurd. There might be a genetic difference between men who crossdress and those who don't, such as genes that affect visuals/tactility/or maybe brain wiring that responds to stimuli such as clothing/femininity differently than other men. But a dressing gene?? Not likely. I actually sometimes wonder if those men who have a lifelong compulsion to present regularly as a baby (Adult Babies?) or as an animal (Furries) for relaxation etc, aren't carrying the same genetic differences as the male identified crossdresser? Maybe they over-valued dependence or their cats simple life or something? Just a thought.

And yep, Confucius your story matches my H's. He never had dysphoria of any sort as a boy but definitely overvalued females. (smart man, lol) Have you heard of that UK guy, Alex Reid? Apparently he kept getting asked questions that he'd never really considered until he got outed - like, 'when did he doubt his masculinity' etc. But the poor guy never thought he had, so he hired some forensic psychologists to figure out his gender issues once and for all, and he's happy to inform the world that he's been diagnosed with a finger-sized crossdressing 'kink'. He even did hypnotherapy and got tracked back to the day it started when he was 7 and tried on his sister's dress out of curiosity. I think he might have overvalued females like you did, and the clothes also looked interesting to him. He also knew it was taboo, which made him feel excited. You should read his experiences as they're quite interesting, especially after his public shaming by that awful Katie Price!

Anyway, your theory could work I think. There are genetics involved, sure, but I'd bet they're more about susceptibility to behaviours like crossdressing rather than an actual crossdressing gene. I don't think this is linked to TS at all either. Sorry Paula But after looking into all this further I truly think there are more than a few things at play here, and at least two distinctive conditions that look the same but are actually not related. Sometimes, even though it looks like a sheep and walks like a sheep, it's not a sheep. It's that dang wolf in costume.

[sissystephanie]

What caused me to become a Crossdresser? Putting on a pair of my older sisters fancy panties! I think I was 6 years old when that happened, and I was hooked!!

[PaulaQ]

Anyway, your theory could work I think. There are genetics involved, sure, but I'd bet they're more about susceptibility to behaviours like crossdressing rather than an actual crossdressing gene. I don't think this is linked to TS at all either. Sorry Paula But after looking into all this further I truly think there are more than a few things at play here, and at least two distinctive conditions that look the same but are actually not related. Sometimes, even though it looks like a sheep and walks like a sheep, it's not a sheep. It's that dang wolf in costume.

Bear in mind that the answer you like is the one that is convenient for you - it's the answer you want to be true. Believe me - I'd like nothing better than for you to be right. I just don't believe that you are. I'm not saying that all CDs will become TSs - not at all. I am saying that I think the evidence suggests to me that they are related conditions, closely enough related that it's currently impossible to tell them apart until after the fact of transition. I think this is very scary, to be honest.

I suspect they'll eventually discover structural differences in our brains that explain all this, and possibly even make it possible to differentiate between CDs and TSs at an early age. (Because you'd want to treat a TS young - but not a CD.)

We just aren't there yet. And yes - I will be very surprised if there isn't an underlying biological cause to both CDing and transsexualism, probably some combination of genetics and development in utero.

Because look - what you suggest is that gender identity is completely independent of gender expression. Can you really believe that? When kids tell you that they are trying to find their identity - how do they do it often? Through expressions such as clothing, music or art. Our self-expression is linked to our identity - I don't really see how it can be otherwise. They aren't in lock-step - but there has to be a connection.

[Tinkerbell-GG]

Actually, I think it's possibly harder having a husband who does this for non-gender/sexual reasons. OUR identity can get messed up with it then as I know I started to wonder if I was the lesbian! What would be more convenient for me is there IS a similarity between you and my H as I might actually understand then. Then he might be the more feminine, nice guy he said he was before I realised the truth!

And seriously, what about those men who dress as babies? Don't you find a curious similarity between their experiences (started in childhood, they don't remember why, just that they were drawn to it, it's not sexual but it is relaxing and they HAVE to do it as it's part of their identity and it progresses and increases over time) I find them very similar. In which case, some crossdressing might be more related to the other identity differences men have than TS. I say SOME crossdressing as I think there's obviously the gender kind that is related to TS and is a different condition entirely.

I do think people can crossdress for completely different reasons, though. And maybe no two men have the same reason? In which case, this discussion is completely pointless!

And now I've peaked my own interest and want to know more about Adult Babies, lol

[Marcia Blue]

I believe that I was just born this way. My early childhood was uneventful, nothing traumatic or out of the ordinary. I remember crossdressing when I was as young as 4 years old. Way before anything else could have influenced me.

[Tracii G]

Hell I have no idea.

[PaulaQ]

Actually, I think it's possibly harder having a husband who does this for non-gender/sexual reasons. OUR identity can get messed up with it then as I know I started to wonder if I was the lesbian! What would be more convenient for me is there IS a similarity between you and my H as I might actually understand then. Then he might be the more feminine, nice guy he said he was before I realised the truth!

Tink - you know I love and respect you. But seriously, you have no idea what hell is until you've tried living with someone who's transitioning. At this point, I'm a horrible ghost to my wife that brings her tremendous grief and sorrow whenever I communicate with her. (Which is rarely enough.) From her perspective - I died last year, but my revenant haunts her still, never letting her grief begin to wane. There are good reasons why 90% of our marriages to genetic women as trans women fail.

But hey - if you think you got it worse than that - well, I'm really sorry then, your situation must be just awful.

And seriously, what about those men who dress as babies? Don't you find a curious similarity between their experiences (started in childhood, they don't remember why, just that they were drawn to it, it's not sexual but it is relaxing and they HAVE to do it and it progresses and increases over time) I find them very similar.

I'm not particularly enamored of explaining something we don't understand, like transgenderism, and "explaining" it with another term we don't understand "fetishism". Maybe they are related, maybe they aren't.

Ray Blanchard suggested that Heterosexual MtF's are essentially men who fetishize their image as women until it becomes a part of them. Aside from not explaining FtM's at all, and being based on very small samples of MtF's, suggesting that MtF's are fetishists doesn't help those of us who are just trying to be recognized as women. There are many radical feminist "TERFs" who argue that someone like me is simply a self-mutilating fethishistic man who emulates women as an extension of the culture of rape. (I didn't say it made a hell of a lot of sense - but YOU try living with ideas like that!)

Although his idea was OK based on the data he had - he really didn't have enough to make the extrapolations he made. He did make the rather impressive observation that TG individuals tend to suffer from clusters of paraphilia - many of us have various fetishes. I certainly do. Why this would be true is not clear.

If there's obviously a difference between the CDing of your husband, and that of a transsexual, please explain it. I've thought about this a great deal, and spoken with many transsexuals and cross dressers. *I* can't tell the difference just based on behavior. If you can't point out what the difference is - then I submit there isn't one, which suggests then, by your reasoning, that I'm just a really extreme fetishist - certainly not any sort of woman of any sort. Just some pathetic, self-mutilating, thing of indeterminate gender.

If I, and people like me, are that screwed up, then perhaps the people who want to imprison us have it right. Certainly we don't deserve equal treatment under the law as our preferred gender. You can see why I don't much care for this line of reasoning.

[Tinkerbell-GG]

No worries Paula - the world would be dull if we agreed on everything. And for the record, I don't think you're a fetishistic crazy person! I don't think any TS are. I just think TS are different from the average male-identifying crossdresser and that's where we disagree

I'm just curious now what Confucius has up his sleeve with all this as he has some very interesting ideas.

[Adriana Moretti]

my own curiosity caused me to cross dress.....

[PaulaQ]

And for the record, I don't think you're a fetishistic crazy person! I don't think any TS are.

That puts you in the minority then.

I just think TS are different from the average male-identifying crossdresser and that's where we disagree

Clearly there's some difference as we transition and they don't. We (generally) need estrogen, and they don't.
We're women (if you believe us, which most do not), and they aren't.

The problem with bringing fetish into this is that TS folks get painted with the same brush - a very large number of people view us as perverts and rapists. Unfortunately we don't get to switch back into our man-suit anymore to avoid trouble - so we take it straight in the teeth.

[tina99]

I transitioned to female 12 years ago, and in many respects, I think that women do have it better than men. Most people are surprised when - or if - I tell them I'm trans. I used to be a computer programmer, and the software companies didn't care what sex I was. Since I was a good worker, they treated me with the same respect (and pay) that they gave the men. And I had some female managers as well.

One of the biggest liabilities for men, in my opinion, is that they have to hide most of their emotions to be accepted, while I can show my emotions, because women are allowed to show them. This causes significant psychological issues for some men.

Cops tend to trust women more than they trust men, and unlike men, women are not usually assumed by people to be a threat. (Is this guy sitting by me a creep or not)?

I wouldn't go back to playing male for a million dollars.

What good would a million dollars do me if I couldn't enjoy spending it because of the depression I would experience because of my gender dysphoria?

Besides, dark blues and grays don't look good on me .

[LilSissyStevie]

Paula,

The short answer is that CDs like myself try to change physical characteristics for the same reason we CD. Regardless of the "root cause" we all try more or less to appropriate symbols of femininity, sometimes including the physical ones. Body modifications are just an extension of cross dressing. This is not the same as "being a woman." There are plenty of women that are hairy, flat chested, have no butt, skinny thighs or broad shoulders. There are also women that are aggressive, individualistic, combative, born leaders, and who are good at math. Are they still women even though they don't fit the supposed ideal (or stereotype)? Of course they are! Cross dressers, including myself, seem to see femininity and masculinity in much more abstract and categorical terms than most people. It's that abstract idealized femininity (as the opposite of masculinity) not womanhood that I seek to express. I know its all BS and I do it anyway for reasons I already stated. I'm satisfied that morphology and the presence of a Y chromosome determine my sex if not my gender expression. Are gender (actually sexual) identity and gender expression independent? I would have to say yes. There are plenty of feminine guys that nevertheless still accept that they are males and masculine women that never doubt that they are, in fact, women. There is no way to tell someones gender identity by observing them. You have to ask.

Tinkerbell,

What is the relationship between cross dressing, adult babies, adult little girls and even furies? Also what is the relationship between those things and stuff like cuckoldry, male chastity, female domination, small penis humiliation, sissy maids, forced feminization, sexual submission and any number of other kinks sprinkled throughout erotic TG fiction? One word - emasculation.