While I have empathy for your situation, what appears to be a less-than-amicable separation/divorce, you have allowed this to reach where things are now.
That said, "stuff" can be replaced. I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest that given the discussion in your other thread about your military career and that you seem to be pushing the envelope which can result in great harm to said career, it might be best to give this dressing thing a rest for a while.
Like a corpse deep in the earth I'm so alone, restless thoughts torment my soul, as fears they lay confirmed, but my life has always been this way - Virginia Astley, "Some Small Hope" (1986)
Sunlight falls, my wings open wide. There's a beauty here I cannot deny - David Sylvian, "Orpheus" (1987)
Hi Charlotte. So sorry to hear about the chain of events. Divorce is never easy and I read that this is not a "amicable divorce". I had a friend of mine who went through a divorce which was not amicable (he cheated . . . not condoning his actions at all). His wife who is a mutual friend lost her mind (rightly so) and after he moved out she went over to his place and destroyed his entire record collection (we are talking thousands of dollars). Now what she did was in no way correct but sometimes when a relationship breaks up, it is easier to vent the anger toward the cause (the other person) and react. Sometimes when we are driven by emotion we don't always think rationally. This could be the issue with your ex.
My advice, rather than swear out a warrant, lodge a complaint or whatnot, talk to her rationally as adults. Explain that you would like your stuff back, she had no reason to take it, it could be considered theft and you are now living separate lives. If she won't listen to reason, then take the moral high road and let it go unless you really want to get into a know down drag out argument with even more potential retribution. The reason I am recommending caution is I note that you are in the Navy. Now I am military but in Canada, TG is fully accepted and not grounds for dismissal or destruction of one's career. I know that is not the same in the US military. So . . . the potential for your wife to bump things up a notch and out you to the detriment of your career is plausible . . . just saying.
However, if you are not concerned who knows, I still recommend a level head vice a bull in the china shop approach. Calm tends to win out over anger IMO. Finally, change the locks and don't give her a key.
Hugs
Isha
When my ex-wife left, on the advice of my lawyer,the first thing I did was change the locks. He also advised not to let her into the house for any reason until everything was finalized. After the divorce was final, she had 30 days to come to the house and pick up the rest of her belongings. I piled all her stuff on the front porch and told her to come and get it or it would go into the trash. There was no way she would step a foot back into my house.
What your ex did was enter and steal your property. What you need to do is use the set you were born with and deal with her effectively. If you allow yourself to be a doormat, you will be tramped on for the rest of you life.
Jodi
Maybe I'm confused about the situation, but if you signed the divorce papers, she doesn't have a say-so in your life anymore. Why is she taking your things?Originally Posted by NavyM2F_WAM
~Mel
~Linebacker Melissa
Sorry, this just really makes me angry - ex's that think they still control everything. If MY ex showed up on my doorstep right now she'd get my cricket bat upside her rotten head.
You should have told her to go take a flying leap.
Yeah, me - a Texan with a cricket bat. You won't believe how handy they are.
~Mel
~Linebacker Melissa
I'm terribly sorry that you're having to go through this, but I'm very confused... What was the context of that email? From her perspective, it sounds like she's trying to help you with a problem that you were worried about - some sort of inspection?
Coming out is like discovering that you've been drowning your whole life after actually breathing air for the first time.
She is concerned that my roommate (who is an "old country boy") might look in my room or bathroom and see my girly stuff and want to kick me out. I only have a few months left here and don't want to cause any problems. He told me that he could look in my bedroom/bathroom for emergency or safety purposes (kind of like a landlord, which he basically is).
The only girly stuff I have left is one pair of platform pumps, one pink tank dress, and my makeup (she didn't take it). I asked her, "What am I going to do with that?"
Charlotte
This I agree with completely. You have to change the locks and most certainly be done with her completely. There is a reason she is now an EX. The divorce (as far as we know) was a done deal the minute you signed the papers and she no longer has any rights to enter your house. Why you would allow this person to come in and take things that do not belong to her, let her tell you what you can or can not do, is well beyond me. What you do or don't do is now no longer her business.
This is the reason that telling anyone that your a CD is such a risk. We sugar coat it here all the time, Telling is always for the best but sometimes it just isn't. You should KNOW what kind of person your SO is before you decide to tell her, or them, your biggest and darkest secret. It will always be a weapon to be used against you if things do not work out whether the CDing was the reason it came to this or not.
Your a CD, not a TG (I am assuming here), You still have a pair and it's time you start using them. She comes back, you keep her outside, out of your business, out of EVERYTHING. You give her NOTHING from this point out. You need to make sure she understands what a divorce is or she will own you the rest of your life.
EDIT: Ok, I didn't see the room mate part for whatever reason so it seems you have another problem on top of your ex. I suggest that you find your own place as soon as possible so you can get your life back and start with a fresh, clean slate.
I don't understand that email either. She takes your stuff, wants to sell it or return it but wants to help with makeup and wigs? Gurl, you have some serious things you need to sort and the sooner you do it, the better off you will be.
Last edited by ~Joanne~; 06-22-2014 at 11:39 AM.
Flip Flops were made for Beaches & Bath Houses, We have neither in 2017. Lose the flip flops!
Like I said before, I rent a bedroom and bathroom from my roommate's house. If he had been here, she wouldn't have come in the house at all. I'm only here for another few months and will transfer to a ship that is moving its homeport (where it will be most of the time when not out to sea) to Rota, Spain. I probably won't be able to crossdress while I'm there.
I never told her that I am a crossdresser. I think she looked at my Google+ page (https://www.google.com/+WAllenMorris) and saw pictures on there.
I am currently a CD. Eventually, most likely after I'm out of the Navy in 2016, I plan to begin my transition to become a woman.
She thinks I overpaid for lots of them. She also thinks that I spent too much period. In addition, she thinks that I need style help. Even though we are (getting) divorced, she still wants to be a "friend" and help me out. It would be nice to have someone to help, but I'm done with her. She just doesn't see it.
Last edited by Katey888; 06-23-2014 at 03:28 AM. Reason: Not necessary to quote post prior to your response
Charlotte
She sounds more like a psycho than a friend. Keep your guard up.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
I have known that one for years. I want nothing to do with her, but it is intriguing to finally have someone coach me in the ways of the woman.
Charlotte
From what I read, she came into your living quarters without permission, removed your personal items without your permission and is somewhat threatening you with "blackmail". All these things are crimes, actually her coming into your abode is a burglary, felony, removing your personal items is larceny, felony and blackmail is another felony. I realize that you have to be "discreet" but you just can't let her do these things. If you have a lawyer, talk to him or her, there is lawyer/client confidentiality so you don't have to worry about things being divulged. Good luck in any event!!!!!!
Molly
"To thine own self be true"
Just be careful as you know the military is very hostile when it gets it's dander up. She can at any time tell your CO or send the pics she might have and you will be sitting in a corner waiting discharge at the least. You can be brought to court martial if they deem necessary and I can garauntee you it can be very hard if they just discharge you and put something like " sexual deviant" on your dd-214 as they did mine. Even tho my ex knew all about me before marriage she told everyone in her family (and probably mine too) about my cross dressing. fortunately for me it backfired on her.
The military sucks in general. I never wanted to join in the first place. The job market started getting bad, September 11 happened, and nearly all job opportunities went away. I was basically backed into a corner, with no other way out.
I'm trying my best to follow the rules. I'm scheduled to get out in 2016 (if I don't make E-6) or 2022 (if I do). I hate being in. Don't get me wrong, I am proud to serve my country and all, but I hate all the little stupid things we have to do, besides or actual job.
Charlotte
