I'm with Reine on this.Originally Posted by LeighR
I dislike Leigh's argument. I've read many people over the years fall back on it to justify their crossdressing habit. And I think it's disingenuous in most cases (maybe not in Leigh's case. I don't want to pick on her. Just proving a point)
Women can wear whatever they want because they are not PRESENTING as a man. Women do not put fake hair on their chest, bind their boobs, and wear prosthetic male parts when they wear male-inspired clothing. (Drag kings, notwithstanding)
And that phrase that someone used in this thread... "male-inspired' is key.
Most of us girls here are not just wearing 'female-inspired' clothing, we are wearing clothing that was specifically created for the female form.
The problem with this argument is that we're not looking at other factors.
MY theory is that women can wear men's clothing because, culturally speaking, male clothing connotes power. When we see a super model wearing a man's suit, and smoking a cigar (yet with perfect makeup and hair), it's a statement about power, and how women (in general) don't have it. "But isn't it cute how she wants to pretend that she can play with the big boys." I think that scenario is equivalent to seeing that one kid at Thanksgiving sitting at the grown-ups table, and you just think it's adorable.
The obverse of this is that female clothing connotes non-male-power. There IS power in feminine clothing. But it's not seen in the same league as male power. It's seen as soft, perhaps subservient. It's distinctly a lower form of status/power in most people's eyes. And why would a man want to lower his status? (let's cop to it, guys. By virtue of merely being seen as male, we are imbued to have power and status in a way that nearly all women will never have. And you KNOW it too. You know how I know? Because damned few of us are willing to give UP that higher status. We are closeted. It's one thing to be online and known and perceived as a female persona. It's comparatively safe here. But would we want our secret female identity known in our real world?.... to be perceived as anything less than male? Maybe not a macho man.... But there are many perks to being a guy that most of us don't like to admit.)
Leigh, I think that in order for us to wear female clothes in public there has to be a change in the way women's clothing is perceived. And designers would have to design 'female-inspired' clothing for men. I don't really see that coming down the pipeline. I think attitudes have to change first about what is already happening in the T-world. And then designers will begin to create clothing that slowly begins to blur those lines.
The disingenuous part of the argument is that it implies that "if only people would accept men wearing women's clothing, I would do it all the time." But, we crossdressing guys don't do that. Oh sure, there are some who underdress. But that is still HIDING. I don't see CDer guys learning how to sew and creating our own 'female-inspired' clothing. Would it really be that difficult to find SOME element of female clothing and attach it to male clothing and creating a new hybrid? A new kind of skort, perhaps.
But no, we don't do that. We just take what is out there and bemoan that society let's women get away with it, and we can't.
But the Truth is, we do it because we see women's clothing as the gateway to feminine power. We see it as sexy. We see ourselves as having different power from the male side, temporarily free from the male side. It's a highly taboo activity. And when we have private time to explore that side, most of us feel good somehow. Perhaps temporarily... but we get some sort of rush out of it, or we wouldn't come back to it. That's the Truth.
So when someone uses that argument... I always roll my eyes, and wish they would be honest...
"I dress because I get off on it!"
I wonder if wearing female-inspired clothes would be a much fun to wear if it wasn't taboo any longer.
Hell, we think that too. Well, some of us do. It's an initial reaction.
I think most GGs don't care for CDing, particularly wives, because they think they are being replaced. My wife certainly thinks that. She sees Gail as "the other woman". They might think that they are no longer needed by the husband. And can you blame them? How would you feel if your S.O. said she wanted to wear jeans and a tshirt, and wanted to work on the car or drink beer, watch football and fart? It would be a very strange and probably unwelcome dynamic for most of us.
I often wonder if crossdressing and presenting as female is not the big COMPLIMENT we claim it to be as much as a prideful, boasting insult to women.
"Look at me! I can do this better than you."
So, to the OP, I've seen this question before... and always think that it's really kind of a put-down to women, in the vein of "Women's brains are incomprehensible to me. What do women want?"
More to the point.... I think your question really comes down to... "Why don't women dig this as much as I do? They spend so much time in front of the mirror, and shopping for clothes, and read the fashion magazines.... What difference does it make if I do all that stuff too?"
I think that if we CDing guys really want to pay a compliment to women, then we must strive to not only try to look like them, but try to think/act like them as well.
Meaning: compassion, caring, thoughtful, observant, and use our words to truly articulate and communicate our meaning.
G
