TS questions.. all welcome to reply

[~Kitty GG~]

If you are TS or your So is TS..

A) To what extent do you (or does your SO) INTEND to transistion?

B) What steps have you (or your SO) taken so far?


I'm not doing a survery.. or just being nosy. I'm genuinely interested and would like to get to know the TS faction here a lot better.

Love, Hugs, & Thanx
~Kitty~

[GypsyKaren]

I consider myself to be non-op and I intend to stay that way. No surgery, no hormones, just me because I'm happy with myself as is, happy as a clam you know. I'm pretty much full time now and out to just about everybody I know.

I've thought long and hard over the years about going further, but I really see no point, I'd have nothing to gain but much to lose. My wife and I have a wonderful relationship and physical closeness that we share, and that's something I'm not willing to give up or mess with. I feel that going further wouldn't make me feel any more feminine than I do now, and I already go out everywhere dressed as the real me. The bottom line is that I'm quite content and at peace with myself for the first time in my life, so I think I'll just stay with the road I'm on.

Karen

[~Kitty GG~]

That's great, and thanx for being the first to answer my thread.

I'm happy for you and for Kat that you've found what works.

My philosophy is that there's no right way to transition. We're each unique and must therefore find what fits each of us.

That's kinda why I'm asking these q's. To showcase all the different TS choices. And so we can applaud and support each of our girls.

Love & Hugs
~Kitty~

[Kim E]

Hello Kitty ~

A) To what extent do you (or does your SO) INTEND to transistion?

My hope has been to completely transition including SRS, IF a major health concern is resolved. At this point everything hinges on that big IF. I have a form of blood cancer, which strangely enough was discovered by my endocrinologist during the course of HRT lab work. I have no plans for facial surgery and no need for breast implants.

B) What steps have you (or your SO) taken so far?

I've been living full time, it will be 2 years this coming October 15th. I started HRT in January 2005, but due to the health problem, had to cut back on the schedule to increase dosages. My Endo and Hematologist were both concerned about the increased risk of blood clots. Presently, I'm on a low dosage of hormones and have had no problems. Right now, I'm in sort of limbo. Spending time doing research, talking with other pre and post op women, working on a legal name change and trying to decide if I should go back to my natural hair color (redish blonde) ugh !

Thanks for asking.

Kim

[~Kitty GG~]

Hi Kim~

Wow.. that's fortunate .. and since the blood cancer was only found cuz you were transitioning.. I'd say its proof you were on the right path!

You look fabulous, I agree that you don't need ffs. I like your hair color now.. but a girl likes to change.

How did family, friends, workmates take your transition?

Thanx for indulging me and my thread.

Love & Hugs
~Kitty~

[~Dee~]

A) To what extent do you (or does your SO) INTEND to transistion?

B) What steps have you (or your SO) taken so far?

hmm .. im guessing that my anwers might not be the most surprising things to you, but i dont want to be left out :p

A) I intend to transition fully. im hoping to be able to under go srs at about the 2 year mark. but im not too sure about the financials. i dont think that i would want anything like ffs, mainly because of the vast costs that might accumulate if they tried to deal with me. :D

B) ive told everyone in my life that i plan to go fulltime by new years, ive started anti-a's but havent gotten the all clear for hormones yet, not because of health reasons but because the pshrink i went to see was a complete jerk and so ive had to start again with another one. *sigh*
i dont need to change my legal name, so thats kinda taken care of.
hmmm ... doesnt seem like much to report for such a long time..
so i guess im also waiting.
mind you, i think that a lot of transition is left to "waiting" for one thing or another.


Kim ~
im sorry to hear about your health problems .. its good that they caught it, but its not good that they caught it.
i hope that everything can be sorted out so that you can get back to your plans.

[CaptLex]

A) To what extent do you INTEND to transistion?

I hope to have "top" surgery (i.e., breasts removed and chest reconstruction) and I think I'm also going to need a hysterectomy, although this is more of a medical necessity than a transitional necessity (but the insurance company would probably disagree). Money (and time) will be a factor in how quickly all this gets done.

Ideally, I would also love to have "bottom" surgery or a phalloplasty, but so far these surgeries are mostly unsuccessful and I don't want to spend lots of money and endure surgical pain and complications for something that will probably end up being a non-functioning decoration.

B) What steps have you (or your SO) taken so far?

I just started hormone therapy this month, and have come out to friends, some co-workers and the management at my firm. It's still a long road ahead, but I'm happy to have taken the first step.

Thanks for asking - I'm interested in others' responses as well. :D

[~Kitty GG~]

Dee~

Yeah.. I kinda know what you're up to. :D

But I'm hoping that lots of other people are interested in all these experiences.

I'm very proud of how far you've come in just over a year!

Love & Hugs & Kisses
~Your Kitty~


CaptLex~

It was your Captain's Log that inspired me to start this thread. I'm so interested in the F2M side, but know very little about it.

But it occurred to me that we have so many others on this site with so much to share in the TS forum. And if there was more light shed on the experiences of transition that are actually happening amoung the members here.. it might give support or bolster someone to ask for info or take that first step.

or maybe I am just nosy

Thanx for your thread and for adding to mine.

Love & Hugs
~Kitty~

[azure]

1. I lived 8 years in the female role but had to end it due to acute stress, and very poor health, and other issues.
I now intend to transition fully, slowly with SRS, some facial cosmetic alterations, silicon implants for my hips n bum.

2. Ive have an appointment with a doctor here in the UK to discuss my transition, and restart on hormones.
Im taking car of my health, no smoking, or drinking, no drugs, a decent diet, and a thorough exercise routine.

[~Kitty GG~]

Azure~

Its good to hear that you're taking care of yourself now.

What FFS are you considering? I was surprized that you mention implants for hips & bum but not breast.

Goes to show how individual we all are.

Do you have the support of family, friends, etc?

Thanx for your input.

Love & Hugs
~Kitty~

[Kim E]

Thank you Kitty and Dee for your kind thoughts and words.

When I decided to transition, I retired from my job and moved quite a distance away from my former home. Actually to an area where I knew no one. I thought I needed to start over in all aspects of my life. A few years prior to my move I'd been involved in a very bitter and nasty divorce. My gender orientation had never been an issue until the divorce. My ex took the opportunity to out me to family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, church people and anyone who would listen. Most distanced themselves from me, as if I had a contagious disease. My ex had been a very evil, nasty and spiteful woman for 20 years, so she was just being true to form.

All my immediate family have passed on. The only ones I was concerned with were my daughter and her husband. They are very understanding and supportive of me. That's all that matters.

Kim

[Kayla Smith]

Kitty,

A) To what extent do you (or does your SO) INTEND to transistion?

As for myself I plan( at least for now) to transistion to the point of SRS but I know that this will take me me awhile. I am taking small steps to insure that I am make the correct decisions.


B) What steps have you (or your SO) taken so far?

I have been seeing a gender therapist for awhile as well as living full time for the last 2 months and hopeful in a few months I will be starting HRT.

[Chrissycd]

did you end up an Aussie after growing up in Minnesota, honey? I've lived here my whole life and am considering a move to the southwest. Change is good. Will you pm me and we can share notes? I live in the Twin Cities metro now.

Um, what did you wanna know again???
Something about where I am in transition, right?
I've been in gender therapy for a year and a half now. My therapist knew I was ts by the end of my first appt. but I needed time to process and accept something I've denied my entire lifetime.
Now, I'm about to finish laser beard removal which has gone very well. In a few weeks, I have my first HRT evaluative appt and I'm hopeful that I will be given the go ahead to begin the process.
I have one week left with my current employer. I've realized that I chose the profession of teaching for the wrong reasons (partially to try to validate and gain respect for the person I always pretended to be).
Time out: OMG the Twins just made a triple play against the Mariners! Did you know that baseball is the most highly attended (by women) pro sport in the U.S.? I think it's b/c of all of those fine gentlemen out there looking so handsome in their tight fitting pinstripes...sigh.
Anyway, I've also found that my attraction to women, while still strong, is leveling off, and my interest in men is increasing almost hourly...
Umm...what else?
I'm very lucky b/c I have my mom's face and so I don't feel the need for any facial surgery at all. That's a major relief being that I quit my job and don't know what I'm even going to do now, so at least that's one less expense I'll have to plan for. I want to see what results I get from hormones in the chest, but I expect that I probably will eventually get breast enhancements. I also expect to undergo SRS b/c my unit has never seemed a natural part of my being and I want to finally be fulfilled sexually as a woman. Playing the male role in bed never, ever really seemed comfortable to me.
How's that?
Hugs,
Chrissy
ps - Why are you so curious after all? I always have wanted to know what a gg finds attractive about a ts. Can you share?

[Priss]

I lived pre-op in full transition throughout the 90s, due to financials. Once I solved that problem, I had the MtF surgeries at the end of 2000 and into 01...

[btmgrl6]

I m planning on going all the way....breast implants, hrt.......and eventualyly SRS

Steph

[Kimberley]

Hi Kitty,
I will not be transitioning. This is a decision I made 15 years ago. It was difficult and gut wrenching and has caused a lot of pain and anguish in the interim, but it was the right decision for me. I had more to lose than I would have gained; family, career etc. Those same reasons still hold true today. This doesnt make me ambiguous, only to have establishe priorities for my life.

35 to 40 years ago (when it would have been the ideal time) we were defined as mentally ill in the DSM. Christine Jorgensen was a "freak" doing the afternoon talk show circuit with Merv Griffin et al.

Of course, today it is much different, the psychiatric community have come to terms with us. I still do not believe full transition to SRS is indicated in all but a very few cases, and if anything it may be too readily available. (I know I have just ticked a few people off here but please bear with me.)

Our reality has existed for eons, and all that time SRS was nonexistant. We learned to live this duality and in many cultures it was celebrated and still is. Today it is our western "Victorian attitude" culture that makes it so difficult for us. Religion has too much to say about things that are not matters of faith and we buy into it.
I beleive that if our society was more tolerant allowing us to be who we are, the need for transitioning would be considerably less. Instead, transition has become a necessity to mask and protect us from society. Modern science has provided the tools.

Too many of us are of the opinion that we have to go to SRS to live and be happy. I disagree.
Karen is the poster child for this. She has proven she can live without it and be happy with herself, her family and her life. I can only wish I could follow her footsteps.

Kimberley

[btmgrl6]

I am a 24/7 ts. I live it,work it, and play enfemme. When I transition it won't be because of the need to mask or protect myself from society.It will be because that's whatI want to do. because it's who I want to be. There are thousands of ts, tg, gay, cd, les people out there living their life as they want.
Why? because we learned a little secret. Society doesn't give a rat's behind what we do. Society doesn't pay any more attention to me than I do to them. and more impotant we don't care what society thinks
Our "fear" of what society "thinks" about us is what keeps us in the closet,not fear of what society is going to "do" to us.
It's fear that allows us to keep it hidden from the people in our lives that we are supposed to love and trust the most.
let's not go into the hundreds of excuses on why we can't come out.We cannot even accept ourselves. The bottom line is that if we have the balls to do it.. we are free to do it. it may not be easy, it may take huge sacrifices, and the cost may be dear. But we have the right.
And as for the advances in medicine......if SRS was available eons ago... you can bet your bottom dollar that it would have been taken advantage of.



Steph

[CharlaineCadence]

Haveing finally come to terms and accepted my self I began the slow road to transtion. I startesd on hormones in 2001-2002 though stoped them for a two year time inorder to fight in Iraq. Then getting back on the in late 2005. I have many plains for myself as twords my transition. I live full time as a woman as the world is concerned but inorder help my father deal with it better I dress androginsly at home. I am in the process of my name change. I am in gender theripy with two pdocs one that I pay for and one that is with the Va. I at this point and time am trying to get the Va. to take over my hormones theripy and because of this have run out. I have plans for some FFs shuch as brow lift, scap advancement, jaw shaving, chin shaving (if needed), trachea shave(if needed). I will in two years after bstedy hrt plan on having my brest inmplants and that will be it for a long time. As I feel that I am way to eager to think about the srs to really know if it is right for me. I have decided to wait five years before i sit down and fully decide weather or not it is what I want. I am scard admitedly but ie is a good fear. I do not want to end up like the many who have found after rushing that they made huge mistakes. As the money end is concerned it is rough right now after being fired because of my transiton and now struggle to find another job. I am so much more happy now that I live in the gender role I should have all my life. I have to admit that I have lost alot of friends because of my transition but have gaines even more. I have also learned who my real friends are, and that for me is the best thing in the world. All in all I have learned alot and am still learning. I have no regrets and look forward to when I can walk down a street and say to myslef I am finaly whole.

kiss kiss
char

[~Dee~]

we have quite a spread of people and experiences already
good to see.

where ones path may lead to isnt so much as the courage to actually take steps along that given pathway.
it might not be easy at times, but i wish everyone luck and happiness in their chosen lives.

Kimberley, i dont know if i can agree with your ideas. i think i am more inclined to agree with Steph, when i under go my srs it wont be because of fear of society or a means to hide myself in the crowd .. afterall, its not like the crowd is going to be able to see that part of me ..
its because i feel its the right thing to do .. its something that id like to change about myself.. it would make me happier to feel more complete.

[~Kitty GG~]

Kayla~
I'm glad you replied. Love your avatar pic.
I hope that all of you who are taking the time to share a bit of yourselves will keep us posted.
Its nice to be able to support and recieve support specifically on the transition issues.

Chrissy~
Sure I'll pm you and we can chat about growing up MN girlies.
You're the first to mention a shift in sexual attraction. I'm hoping to get lots of honest answers like that. So that everyone can stop wondering if things are "normal" or not.
I'm so curious because I'm going through all this (to a lesser degree obviously) right along with Dee. And so all the info is good to know. But also because it can feel like each TS is alone.. and that's just not true. So I want Dee and myself to make new friends here with others who have shared or are sharing experiences like ours.

Priss~
Wow I admire you for taking control and being yourself through the 90's. Accepting the limitations you were faced with but not just giving up and saying "why bother".
I'm happy that you've since been able to have the surgery.

Steph~
That's cool that you're planning on the whole package.
Where are you at now? What roadblocks have you faced? What support have you found?

Kimberly~
I also don't agree with your ideas that SRS is too easy to get.
BUT its good to have differing oppinions, ideas, and experiences here. This is more of what I was hoping for as well. Reasons that some are choosing non-op. That's just as valid as any other decision.

I feel that adults should be taking responsibility for their choices regardless of what area of their lives we're talking about. And so I don't think a pshrink should have the power to deny srs for some and to grant it to others. Just like we shouldn't be tested and forced into jobs that are deemed suitable, or have others decide which movies are suitable for us to see etc.

I disagree that srs is a way to mask or protect TSs from society. Or that since it wasn't available in the past and people learned to deal with it..
I think that its similar to getting a prosthetic. Just because they weren't available before doesn't mean someone w/ a disability should be denied a new limb when they do become available due to scientific advancement. And if I had a bump on my nose and wanted to have that surgically altered to be happier w/ my appearance.. I don't see that as being any of society's biz.

I do feel bad now for the F2M's who have such inferior techniques for SRS. And I look forward to the day when that catches up.

I agree with the big YAY to Karen tho. Not cuz she's learned to live w/o it. But because she's made choices that work for her and then made it so.

Char~
Sounds like you have a well thought out plan.
Did you find it difficult to stop HRT for those 2 years and put on a man's helmet for the war?


Lots of Love & Hugs
~Kitty~

[CharlaineCadence]

For me the thought of Doing my duty as a soldier and american never changed when it came to my disition to transtion. It was why I signed up and I was more then proud to do it. Weather man or woman I was happy to defent the rights we have, and seeing the children smile as they whent to school for the first time since saddam took over made it all worth wile. The news and media doesnt tell the good side of why we are their and that hurts us soldiers. Just as in veitnam we have come home to mixed support and critisems. Nomatter how badly i was treated when i returned from Iraq I was glad to have been their.

As for the stopping of hormones i with a docters advice weened off of them so I never had the reactions I am having now just from running out.

As for planning my transiton out I have to say. I had to, this was and is a major disition in my life and I dont want it to feel like it was a mistake. When I know in my heart of hearts it is the right and best thing for me.

[AngelAshley]

A) To what extent do you (or does your SO) INTEND to transistion?

Put it this way - if there was a way to transplant my brain into the body of a girl, I'd be first on the list :D I'm going as far as I can..

B) What steps have you (or your SO) taken so far?

- Came out to my friends, started to live as a girl around them
- Saw my GP, who referred me to...
- A counceller, who reffered me to...
- The Gender Identity Clinic at Charring Cross hospital
- Became a cheerleader!
- Came out to my 'rents...
- Came out to work, started to live & work full time as a female
- More appointments at the GIC, now waiting for hormones & speech therapy. Should be in for surgery sometime after Nov. 2007 :D
- Recently started having Electrolysis

[Kimberley]

I do believe that my cimments were taken far too literally (or I didnt explain them adequately).

Our goal should be to be able to live and do so happily. I think that too many of us look at SRS as the goal rather than living as the ultimate goal. From most of the comments I have heard from post-ops the SRS was only the icing on the cake. The real achievement was to be able to live life as their true gender. This common statement of opinion from post ops seems to place credence to that.

The process requires a minimum of 1 year RLT. Is this really a test or is it actually saying "You want to live in your true gender then do so full time." The word test indicates a pass/fail which is not and should not be even in the picture. Again, this comes back to the original point; living in your true gender.

We need to be happy, every human being deserves that no matter what. But the happiness is in living, not existing in obsession over a surgical procedure that does not solve problems we already have. It exchanges one set of problems for another. This tradeoff is not a solution. This is also why the standards of care exist; to eliminate mistakes to the best possible degree.

If we are ignoring existing problems by obsessing on transformation then we are really masking the underlying issues. These issues must be resolved before any transformation can or should begin. This is the real mask, not hiding on a daily basis.

Like it or not, society does not look kindly on us whether we have a 'go shove it' attitude or not. We might be tolerated in the larger urban centers but there are a lot of places where we are in significant danger. To think otherwise is shear madness. This applies across the entire spectrum from TV to post op.

In the end, I still stand behind my opinion that SRS is not a solution, it is only a step in a much larger process. Living life in your true gender is the solution. Recognizing the dangers is essential.

No matter what route is taken it is a path of enormous courage.

I hope this clears up the misconceptions.

Kimberley.

[kelli]

I get asked these questions by doctors, wife and counselor quite often. When I first started going to the counselor I had a 3 year plan all worked out. Reality is keeping your sanity and obtaining the needed congruency between body and mind to be happy.

A) To what extent do you (or does your SO) INTEND to transistion?
I look at this whole process realization, counselors, HRT, RLE and SRS and think what do I need to do to be happy with myself and my body. I probably will never fully transition and have SRS. However, what I need for my own sanity will and has changed as the months and years role by.

B) What steps have you (or your SO) taken so far?
I am now on HRT, my SO knows everything and we are dealing with all sorts of emotions on both sides. My doctor and counselor are both great and are working together well. The last visit to the doctor she talked about and orchi to get the HRT dosages down and provided a safer femminzation. I have no problem with that nor does the wife.

Kelli

[~Dee~]

Kimberley,

ok, your redefinition is a lot better.

yes, i can agree that srs is not a cure ..
i agree that some people do see it as the means to make their life tolerable .. and for the most part - if you have such a problem like this, then having srs isnt going to make that any better. unhappiness will still be there.. afterall, they arent removing your unhappiness and turning it into something else ...
which is a pity really, cause i think there would be way more people lining up for srs if that were the case.

i get what you meant, now.