Makes me think!

[JesseVF]

Some of you may have heard we had a 5.1 earthquake here in SoCal this morning. Pretty scary - first for me as I moved here recently. Quite a sensation to feel and see your house shaking. No damages at least yet.
The thing is I was fully dressed when this happened as my wife is out this morning. My first thought was I need to change clothes! My wife knows about my cd but this makes me think again about my son who is local to me know discovering me when things like this happen or just getting older. I feel I?m getting closer to having a talk with him to avoid complete surprise for him someday. I?m planning on doing that if my wife goes before me, but wondering if I shouldn?t wait.
I know this has come up before but would appreciate anyone?s updated thoughts on this.

[Heisthebride]

Many people here have shared this news with great success, just as others have had issues with friends and family. Only you have any idea of a potential reaction from specific people you tell. I think you already know how they might react.

I have been telling my friends recently and have had nothing but good reactions. But I also had expectations that they would be accepting. It really was just getting over the fear I had.

Best of luck on your decision

[JulieC]

It's hard to know Jesse, even with our own kids.

For my part; my wife and I have had a discussion about when...or if...to tell the kids. We did decide not to tell them while they were in grade school. We figured kids go through enough without having to hide this secret about their daddy.

Now they're out of grade school. Now, the equation is benefits vs. risk. We have two kids still at home. If they were told, the only benefit would be no surprise if they discovered me. Telling them wouldn't increase my available dressing time, as I will never feel comfortable dressing in front of them. After 20+ years of hiding this from them though, the risk of them accidentally seeing me is vanishingly small. So, little or no benefit in telling them now. There are potential risks in the effect it would have on my relationship with them. We've raised our kids to be accepting of all sorts of different ways of living, and they truly are. But, the not-in-my-backyard effect is real.

Now, after they move out? The equation changes. My wife and I have discussed my crossdressing when we're empty nesters. She knows and is fine with me dressing quite a bit more around the house. We dabbled in this for a few months while we were temporary empty nesters. There was no chance of accidental discovery during those few months; both were a long distance away. If they end up living in the general area to us, then there might need to be a conversation about announcing themselves coming over. But, it still might not mean telling them. That is, however, the most likely situation that we would tell them while I'm still alive.

My wife has asked to tell them after I'm gone (I will likely predecease her by a decade, at least, based on our family histories). Not sure how I feel about that, and we haven't decided.

[Helen_Highwater]

Julie,

In regard of your SO telling the kids post mortem I would say that's a good thing.

My parents were stoic, pragmatic people who just got on with what life presented to them and while loving and caring they didn't share much about their early lives.

That's meant I can't fully know them. Little things that pop up from time to time shine a little light on their past but I'd like to have known more, the fuller story. I've said to my kids, if there's something you want to know about my formative, early years then ask. You can't do it once I'm gone.

So if your SO feels comfortable in dealing with it then I'd say let her.

[docrobbysherry]

Jesse, I felt it here in Orange County north of San Diego. But, I'm wondering how u could feel it if u live in "NE USA"?

[JesseVF]

Hi Doc - thank you for making me realize I should update my location which I just figured out how to do - moved to SD last September.

[April Rose]

I'm out to the people closest to me, so that problem has gone away.

[Cheryl T]

If the thought of someone finding you after a disaster and knowing you dress then you might consider stopping.
The "what if" applies to just daily life.
What if you had a heart attack, ate something and choked, a heel broke and you fell hitting your head, the rug slipped and the same thing happened.
There are too many what if's.

I've come to the resolution that if something happened and I was found dressed then they either mourn my loss since they KNEW me as a person or they turn from me because of my dressing. If the latter then it doesn't matter as they didn't know the real me or were too shallow to care.

[Natalie5004]

Well, I am not out to anyone but a few family members and they don't talk about it. If a disaster strikes while I am dressed then just go with it. What can you do.
I remember about 13 years ago I heard someone in my back yard, I was a man in a dress. I waited a few minutes then stepped outside my relatively secluded back yard. Around the corner walks 2 cops. They asked me if anyone has been in my back yard. I said yes and they jumped that fence over there.

OK, then they left. I thought that was weird. I am sure they did also.

[CrossKimmy]

I felt that same earthquake and one of my first thoughts was "thankfully I wasn't dressed up!" afterward. Def made me think!