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Thread: Acknowledging her when I can?t be her

  1. #1
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    Acknowledging her when I can?t be her

    I was discussing with my therapist those frustrating times, when circumstances require I be in male mode publicly, such as my job, but Verity, my femme self wants to be out and proud. Those days I underdress to impress ( and thank goodness for underdressing to take the edge off) but I have to put my pants on one leg at a time, when I just want to wear a dress and be pretty! She has been suggesting I carry with me some small trinket that speaks femininity to me that can fit in a pocket, a bracelet, a compact, a soft or lacy handkerchief, something I can feel, or take out and look at that will honor my femme side, and bring a smile as I connect to the she in me. I have found a few things, a pretty coin purse with floral design, a handkerchief, a lipstick tube that just makes me want to go play with make up, but I was wondering if anyone else has tried this, or had good ideas as to the kinds of things I might find and carry with me. Anything you carry to acknowledge your femme self, or would suggest as a secret token of the femme within? Please share your thoughts and ideas, I would love to hear from you all!

  2. #2
    Moderator Crissy 107's Avatar
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    Go get a pedicure with a pretty color
    Crissy

  3. #3
    New Member Gail_veiled's Avatar
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    Maybe a pendant or chain necklace? Something you can feel against your skin but wouldn't be obvious under your shirt.

  4. #4
    Silver Member Kris Burton's Avatar
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    Perhaps a ring that you would wear as both Verity and your male self
    www.flickr.com/people/194195593@N05/

  5. #5
    Member Keremy's Avatar
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    I know me I would forget the trinket and the wife would find it in my pocket when she does laundry. It would go from happy thoughts to nightmare in seconds

  6. #6
    Aspiring Member Aka_Donna's Avatar
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    a unisex crossbody bag?

  7. #7
    Gracious Colleague
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    I've been surprised by an ankle bracelet. At least for me, I am hyper aware that it is there and feels delicate and sensual. A great reminder.
    Simply an avid clothing enthusiast...

  8. #8
    Senior Member Lacey New's Avatar
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    Just wear nice panties. No one will know.

  9. #9
    Platinum Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    I'm with Crissy, go with the pedicure.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  10. #10
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    These are great! Keep them coming! You know I love pretty toes, it is a thrill every time I see them. The anklet is a fantastic idea, as are the subtle in between touches that can work for both sides. I am bi gender so things I can appreciate both ways are always great. Panties? Oh yes indeed! Pretty intimates are always just the thing and make me smile. I am so grateful for underdressing as an outlet. Keep posting about any Knick knacks that bring out a femme feeling, and thank you all so much for the sharing and support.

  11. #11
    Happy 2 B Here Mercedes's Avatar
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    For the first time yesterday, I was out in drab but kept a lipstick in my pocket. It just made me happy to know it was there and I could put it on at anytime. And was wearing my sandals with my pretty toes on display. FYI, been over 8 weeks since the gel nails applied and still not a single comment.

  12. #12
    Member Monique65's Avatar
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    I wear pretty panties 24/7. They are a snug reminder of my inner girl. My wife is accepting so no issues at home.
    Honoring the woman within

  13. #13
    Senior Member April Rose's Avatar
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    I wear earrings and shoulder length hair in male mode. Never had a negative comment. Depending on where I am going I often carry a simple black shoulder bag. You could put all kinds of femme stuff in one of those. Just don't bring it to work.
    I am a vessel of the goddess. Let me express my calling to a feminine life through nurturing love and relatedness.

  14. #14
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    I have some lovely slacks that I put on "one leg at a time".
    Anyway, I have my earrings. Both ears are double pierced and I wear them every day.
    I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !

  15. #15
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    Crissy and Jamie, count me in on the pedicure. Mine is currently a pretty purple.

  16. #16
    Silver Member CynthiaD's Avatar
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    I wear fancy earrings all the time — I never take them off. These are small hoops with rhinestones along the edge. I almost always wear perfume. Sometimes it’s male cologne, and sometimes it’s Chanel No. 5. Occasionally I wear a chain necklace. The flat ribbon chains are my favorite. I also sometimes wear fingernail polish in male mode, although rarely. When I do I almost always get complements from women. Female tee shirts are another of my staples. A tee shirt is just a tee shirt, after all. I like black mock necks. They don’t make these for men, but few people know that. They look classy with a sport coat. And underdressing, of course. I wear lace panties, a stretchy lace bralettes and pantyhose every day. Black pantyhose just look like socks, nude pantyhose (my favorite) make you look like you’re not wearing socks. I have very bad skin on my legs, and nude pantyhose make my legs look normal. I often wear them with shorts to avoid grossing out other people.
    What do I do on days when I don't crossdress? I have no idea.

  17. #17
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    I always wear a thong under my pants and I like to feel the string penetrating the crack of my butt cheeks, which makes me feel feminine.
    Last edited by char GG; 09-13-2025 at 09:56 PM. Reason: Keeping thread within the rules.

  18. #18
    Senior Member Traci H's Avatar
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    Panties of course and a bra when the weather is cooler so covered in layers. Sometimes some light makeup and nude lipstick. Female jeans always and I use a purse when going in stores.

    My attempts to keep me in good standing with my fem side. Works to some degree while I wait for a chance to dress.

  19. #19
    Ilisa ilisa's Avatar
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    I second Traci's way. Its a good safe way to enjoy dressing out in public without feeling the buzzkill of being self conscious about it.

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