Aspects I Don't Understand

[Cara Allen]

on top of that were the drugs (prescribed) my mother used during her pregnancy that had the effect of feminizing my brain, those same drugs had the reverse effect on my sister masculinizing hers.

Generva, what drugs were these?

Great questions Sobe.

Kehleyr's response is quite interesting but it raises more questions in my mind. A lot of the response reinforces my fear that perhaps all CD's are transexuals in denial.

So much of the crossdresser's life is baffeling in the context of identifying as a heterosexual man. It would be easier if the CD would just say "hey I'm a transexual" then you could just get on with life instead of waiting for the boom to drop or to keep trying to understand and wrap your mind around this whole phenomenon.

Hi, Kitty!

I have also considered this. It has to come down to either of two things.
1) What you say is true, and all TG's are actually TS's. If this is true, then what we exhibit are stages... The denial is a result of societal conditioning, and as we progress through stages of acceptance we proceed to transition, or societal issues are so overwhelming that we stop along the path somewhere.

2) That this is not true, and what the differences are within the TG camp are results of either degree of the effect on personality, or that there really are different things that create a CD or a TS.

I tend to believe that it is a combination... The drive is that same for all of us, but there are also degrees of effect.

Anyone else?

What's confusing about this for me, is DH has told me this. I can see that. I believe it.

But in the next conversation, he says he'd give it up if that's what it took to keep our relationship intact.

I guess he and I are going to have to talk about THIS issue soon. Ack.

Many years ago, my SO and I had that same conversation. We'd been in couples therapy, and it appeared that we were splitsville... we had TWO therapists, and both of them suggested that we break it up. I'd been our for about 4 years, and she tried to be accepting, but just couldn't do it.

I told her the same thing. If it kept us together, I would stop. She didn't believe it, but I did, for over 10 long painful years. I still cruised the internet, got onto chat rooms, tried to find alternate ways to express my feminity. Some time ago, I told her that I was expressing again. I asked her if that meant that we were splitting? She said, "well, I've stayed with you this long, I am not likely to leave now!

Things have been good. She felt that it was wrong to make me purge. I discovered that my family meant so much to me,k that nothing else mattered. I proved to her that I did love her, and that I cared. It did not change me at all. I just went into remission (purge) for a very long time. This was emotionally very bad for me, and I do not recommend it to anyone. To do that under those circumstasnces is an emotional blackmail. I do not blame her. I made the choice.