DD I see where you're coming from and you make a good point. Just please be aware that many of us straight CDers don't think like that. I'll throw this out that we are so closeted about our CDing because we think mainly about what GGs will think about it and how it will turn them off. If it suddenly became true that a majority of GGs were into CDers than you would see sales of dresses and makeup shoot up overnight. I don't think you're correct in stating we "instantly presume" a GG would want to live a lesbian lifestyle with us. We know in most cases that's not true and I really think that's where a majority of problems with our CD identity comes from.
Just a guess here, but in cases where people get married and then the CDer comes out years later it could be simply a matter of thinking that the woman they love is more important than wearing some panties or whatever and not wanting to lose them. Thus making the choice of marraige over CDing. Of course the CD urge never does go away and causes problems later. Never having been married that was always one of my concerns about the future of possible marriages I could have had. And plenty of GGs have told me straight out (not regarding me since I didn't tell them, but in general) that the one thing they could never deal with is a guy who dressed like a girl. Trust me, we know the reality.
And out of respect for lesbians, I have to acknowledge that we may say things like the Eddie Izzard line "I'm a Lesbian born in a man's body" once in a while, but I think it's a quick way to say we're attracted to women and CD. Are we really lesbians? No, of course not. And we don't really know how they feel.
