Thanks so much for the kind encouragements. I was in a predicament-on a table, held in place for this unusual CT scan-a warm damp cloth feeling item was laid over my face and it took the shape of my head-had to stay still for 5 minutes while it hardened and scans were made. I have great difficulty staying still. But I managed--the 3 MRI that took 90 minutes just about did me in!
though I sensed what was to be when she unbuttoned my shirt for clearance, our eyes met for a moment as she slightly reacted to my camisole-glad it wasn't my lacy one!- I am sure she didn't care, though clearly it wasn't the typical Fruit of the Loom or whatever she might expect! This Radiology Lab is headed by a very sweet, clearly gay man. He is a very caring individual and there is some irony that my doctor should do not be 'normal' (great book by that name-a good read). He caught me off guard on the initial exam when he reached down to feel my ankles for swelling and surely he detected my pantyhose I wear daily. Again, I inwardly sigh and don't care about this small stuff. Like most of you, I have beaten myself up so many years over the irressistable urge to crossdress-to be on the pink team-that I have just given into it. My wife is much more sympathetic now-doesn't care that I wear Silk Reflections daily. It isn't erotic anymore, just what I feel I should wear. Ironic that this really mean cancer (Merkel Cell Carcinoma) should bring us together. A small sty like growth turned into a serious villian and I so hope the radiation can fry it to oblivion-on my left upper eyelid-can you imagine a worse site! Maybe there is a reason for how things go in life. A weakened immune system, maybe 60+ years of stress and guilt have caught up with me. hugs to all of you. helen
