This is just a suggestion that I understand has made INCREDIBLE differences for many couples: Go to the SPICE convention in Denver, CO next weekend. It is an organization whose central intent is helping struggling spouses understand and appreciate cd/ts/tg partners. They provide knowledgeable speakers, support networks, and discussion groups to help couples in every stage of their relationships. They do NOT allow any actual crossdressers in the door at the event b/c the whole idea is to be as nonthreatening to the spouse as possible. I don't work for SPICE or have any affiliation w/ it, but I learned about this at a local TS mtng, and they recommended it HIGHLY. I'm single, but it is quite obvious that there are many girls on this site who NEED to find some way, come hell or high water, to attend. If not this year, go next year. Make it a priority. It's in a different city every year, so look them up on the net, and float the idea w/ your partner.
Good luck!
Chrissy