One disclaimer (of sorts): I read the line about Romance novels being female porn in an article somewhere (so it is not an original thought) and I found it to be deliciously provocative and fascinating...and I couldn't resist the tempation to throw it out there. The fact that it elicits such a strong response means that it holds some truth. As I said before, if it was complete nonsense, it would have been ignored!
Romance novels are surely fantasy - and having fantasies is not being unfaithful. Your dressing, however, is not just fantasy - it's also a physical reality?
The crossdressing community is one that needs to stick together and continue to be there for each other for whatever one needs. We are always trying to improve the forum to better serve the crossdresser in all of us.