Thalia,
I do understand where you're coming from in the need to want your relationship to work. We all want to love and be loved. I can even understand - to a point - why your wife would be reeling after finding out about the CDing and pics and such. To me, your wife has crossed the line, but if you're willing to go along, there's not much else to say.
I still can't help but think you're now going to stay with her out of fear instead of love. That's a hard life to live.
