I feel really sad. I denied my true self today. This morning when I got to work there was a big argument going on.

When I stepped in on the break room everybody got quiet for a moment then one of my coworkers told me that they were defending me against the ongoing rumor that I was being effeminate and gay.

There were two sides, one defending my masculinity and heterosexuality and the other side doubting on the reasons why I had my arms shaved and my brows waxed, They were arguing that manly guys don't do that.

Things were getting kind of heating up but I keep my cool all the time and acted like it everything was a nonsense and irrelevant but deep inside I was like I was falling in pieces. Then I denied being Gay or effeminate twice, I even made a few jokes about I think those were the ones that made feel even worse.

I feel really bad because I lost an opportunity to come out and be the real me but I think I the fear and insecurity won this time and that is why I feel like a fraud

Do you think I made a mistake?