OK< so your wife is ok with you underdressing and admitting to being gay ( or do you really mean bi?) She obviously knows everything about you and still she chose to marry you. I can't see that its a big step for you to express your desire to dress openly.
The larger question is what is at the basis of your arguements. Sometimes people say hurtful things as a tactic in arguements. Its not a good way to resolve issues, since it leave lots of residual hurt. So, try to learn to discuss issues, rather than argue...and if she has some underlying problem with your sexuality, your cross dressing or general femininity...learn to discuss this in a non confrontational way. Your lives will be better and you'll be able to stop worrying about being manly!
