Quote by: JulieC

You need to look in the mirror as the first step towards reconciliation. This woman's life is in tatters because of your years over years over years pattern of lying. She is shaken to the very foundations of the understanding of what her world is supposed to be.

This isn't some little deal, some harmless little secret that wasn't hurting anyone else. This was fundamental, base core foundation of your relationship.


why is this all about you and why are you still not purging atm? trust me if you continue to put yourself before your wife after she BUSTED you then you really aren't looking for advice or empathy but permission from others here to keep on making it go your way.

Quote by: ikthys

I ask the reverse question- does 12 years of being a faithful wife and mother to your kids mean so little that you will let it end so that you can go on wearing nylons?
yeah, how about that? does this also not matter one iota to you? or are you one of the selfish type who believe your marriage is an inconvenience to your dressing which YOU chose to hide from her all these years. :facepalm:

Quoted by: Lorileah

While I agree that there should be some interests that are not shared, say fly fishing or movies or using a metal detector on the beach, if it will in any way affect your relationship it should be revealed. And being a CD will affect your relationship. And you KNOW this before you get married, you know what she thinks of most things in life, yet you remain silent...fear of never finding someone?? Fear that no one will ever love you for who you are??? Willing to hide for your sake, not theirs. I hear so often here that people hide this to protect the marriage, the children, the job. No you are protecting what YOU want to protect. You are not considering your spouse. If she does not like cross dressers and you know it you hurt her chance at happiness because she will find out. And it is easier to get on with life if you don't have all the "things" you gather as you live together.

Ok I know I am yelling into the wind here. I know that 90% of the members here are just like Clark Kent. You don't have to announce it from the mountain top but you have to tell the ones who rely on the image you are projecting. The have a vested interest in this life.
thanks Lorileah for voicing what a lot of GGs try to get their CDing/TG partners to understand. investing so much into their relationships and marriages is also a huge part of their lives completely wasted all of a sudden on being lied to about what they love to begin with.

i'm sorry, Samantha, but after 4 years of reading at this website it seems you must have learned something in this time about coming clean with your wife, yet you purposely chose to continue hiding it, thinking you were getting away with it, not out of concern for her feelings.

there are two possible outcomes here and i don't feel sorry for you in either one:

1. your marriage is over and it's only a matter of time before the divorce comes.

2. your marriage will survive this for quite some time while your wife attempts to accept it and may even have a chance at happiness again if you can learn to compromise your needs with hers enough so that you can keep Samantha in your life.

the first outcome is most likely based on the amount of time you have been hiding this from her like a dirty secret - really, you've already done the damage there. and the other CDs here are being honest - if she has loved you all her life as her very masculine partner she will never appreciate a whole part of you "changing" to feminine in her eyes. just as you would not accept her becoming a masculine identity and behaving like a male, this is disgusting to her. as for outing you, typical of you to think of yourself in this crisis, not how much you have hurt her by this omission of an integral part of your entire persona.

you need a smack upside the head for trying the "it's just the clothes" line on lying about this for 12 years! if it wasn't that big of a deal then your fears would not have taken precedence over your natal male logic lol.