Karren, from one engineer to another, I am seeing the unique ability to compartmentalize problems and derive unique solutions independently even though there is a nuanced connection between the different compartments that cannot be factored in. I do so love the joy and happiness you bring to this forum, you are a unique woman in that respect. I did not know your history, and now I can make some weak extrapolations to my situation that let me empathize with your daily situation. i do not have my wife's trust, and I came out to her.
Often we are our own worst enemy. We do such a good job of being the male in the relationship that their mental ability to see us as anything but what we had been to them for many years (41 years in my case). So it is hard for them to adjust, if they even want to adjust. I hope my wife will adjust. I can offer no assistance to you that would help your wife adjust, if she even wants to. I am a null set in that respect.
I truly hope you can continue to efficiently compartmentalize your situations. I am amazed at how much you accomplish with your dressing given what you must have to go through to look as fantastic as you do. My efforts pale by comparison. your wife is in my prayers to develop acceptance to go along with the love I feel she has for you, or that man she mentally has fixated in her mind. We are so much more than just a man, a male companion, a provider. I continue to formulate a series of equations that would allow me to attain a solution, but alas, there are always more unknowns than equations. Such is the life of a crossdresser, we always have more unknowns..........
Hugs, Barbara
