Quote Originally Posted by CodeVeronica View Post
... having grown up in a conservative and relatively religious background, it stresses me how dressing can be viewed so negatively ... I know this thought weighs some of us down ... so I guess what I'm asking is ... Is there a way to justify this action? I love my parents/family so much. And it'd kill my heart to see them saddened by me if they ever found out ... Is this even a moral issue that I need to concern myself with? What if I have kids? Will I be able to hide this?

Additional Info:
- I do feel that dressing as Veronica is a part of me that will never go away. I've accepted her.
If you are a college student, then you might consider taking an anthropology course that deals with cultures around the world. Once we recognize that Western morality is not synonymous with morality, we can ask how other moral orientations differ from Western traditions. In many respects, different, independently created systems overlap. All are against stealing, murder, and bearing false witness against others. All are for honoring one’s family. Most, however, do not make a big deal out of gender feelings; and most take a more tolerant attitude towards sexuality than Western traditions do. Due to Western nations colonizing other parts of the world, Western traditions have spread far beyond North Africa, Europe, and North America; yet roughly half of the world’s 7 billion people today follow other traditions. There is no reason to believe that we are more moral than they are.

Ideas about gender and/or sexuality clearly are NOT spiritual and they are not shared by all moral persons. The only sensible conclusion from all this, in my opinion, is that your gender feelings and your sexual orientation are not fundamentally moral issues. Living authentically is a moral issue; but that involves accepting yourself and living as who you are, not faking it to satisfy the dogmas of others. So … try to avoid stealing, assaulting others, and bearing false witness against others. Honor the good in your family and neighbors (but that doesn’t mean copying everything they espouse); and don’t buy into the notion that crossdressing is a moral wrong. If it is part of who you are, then you will be healthier and happier if you accept it and try to express it in ways that don’t hurt others, which brings us to your question about kids.

Regarding marriage and having kids, there are indeed practical issues that most crossdressers must face. Wives typically don’t want their crossdressing husbands to be open with everyone about their cross-gender interests. Also, they don’t want their kids to be teased by others at school. Support groups (Tri-Ess and others) deal with such issues. The key is to compromise. Recognize others’ legitimate concerns and work out compromises that give both sides part of what they want.