I've only started accepting this in the last 2-3 years, and most of the ability to accept it has come from the help this forum has given me. Thank you all.
The point where it really started to seem something that I could embrace, was when i told my soon to be girlfriend about it, and she...just accepted it, totally. "Oh Cool!" was her actual response.
I'm in my 50s, and I've been doing this completely in the closet for 40 some years. Most of that time I was SO careful not to be found out, I didn't understand why i did this ( still don't entirely ) spent some time wondering if I was gay, decided I wasn't, but that just left me more confused, ( why the hell am I doing this? )
Now, I understand that it started as a fetish, and that I've developed a liking for the fit, feel, and look of some items of female clothing. Or what most people consider to be female clothing. At the moment, I don't think I'll be totally happy until I can go out in a skirt, I'll accept a kilt, but i want to be able to do it fairly often, so being able to wear a suitable skirt without major hassles would be better. ( Kilts are expensive! )
PaulaQ, I think you need to learn to accept this in yourself, wherever the urge is coming from, it's not wrong, you're not a monster. None of us are. Having said that, this is not something accepted by the mainstream. I feel fortunate that my SO is so accepting, and I'm pretty certain I can carefully do more in public, But many of us live in places that we'd get beaten up or worse, most of us would just get varying levels of ridicule and harassment. How you deal with the need is dependent on your own situation, and how those around you respond to knowing. A lot of us must stay firmly in the closet, some can come out in a strictly limited circle of friends or loved ones, or in certain specific places. The fact that you hide it, is the problem of society, not in you.
