Okay, so there has to be a reason for this whole thing, and I will not stop until I have a working theory at least. This is going to be a long one, so bear with me.
I cannot accept explanation for my transgendersim and borderline compulsion to dress as “this is just how you are,” and I resent being told to “buck up and get on with it” by people I talk to. (Not here, mind you, you are all great… which is why I am asking you all to ponder with me.)
I am a behaviorist, but I also cannot deny the mechanical part of the brain plays a huge role on how the personality drives and desires come out. I have been reading everything I can about behavioral and gender issues for the past few years, but I also love Psychology so I read anything brain based I can get my hands on as a hobby, which brings me back to my issue…
The other day at the bookstore, I saw a guy with a missing arm, and it reminded me of the work of Vilayanur Ramachandran, one of the bright minds of our time. He worked with amputees who were experiencing “phantom limb syndrome. “
The theory is that after the limb is gone, the brain keeps sending signals back to get a response, almost like a system check. “Is the arm still there? Let’s check… send an itch.”
Their brains kept sending pain signals back to their “stump” looking for an arm or leg, and they got bounced back to the brain with no response. SO the brain amped up the signal and made more.
Pain is a construct of the brain. The nerves and limb were not there, so the brain made every attempt to get a response because it could not come to terms with there being no limb. The limb should be there… send more.
Ramachandaran took some of his patients, and made a mirror box which created the illusion that the phantom limb was actually there. It reflected the arm, and when the patients looked in , they saw two hands, one on each side. The pain went away in a lot of his patients by just seeing the ILLUSION of a limb there!
http://www.macalester.edu/psychology...achandran.html
So… here is where cross-dressing comes in.
As a result of various endocrine disrupting chemicals in the atmosphere, water, and food; some of which can make hormone changes in the body and brain’s development in utero and after, a male fetus can develop with female brain structures (or vice versa).
Maybe you don’t just feel like a woman in a man’s body… maybe you actually do have the wrong brain, or something in-between.
If this were true, you’d potentially have a female cognitive map of your body in your somatosensory and primary motor cortex. You would want to see breasts, hips, a rounded face, correct sex organs, etc. because that is what was imprinted in your brain during fetal development.
When you look in the mirror and see the wrong gender, you don’t feel itchy, phantom breasts, but you do feel a great amount of anxiety, longing, and dissatisfaction. In extreme cases, this leads some people to do body modification to create the right body. Under the wrong circumstances, it can cause terrible feelings of despair and desperation.
The mirror is the key in my theory, though.
This would explain why, after I get really upset and pent up, I feel better after I dress and stand in front of the mirror. I see what should be there and the “pain” subsides.
I think this whole thing is more of brain hardware issue just as much a behavior issue. Nurture plays a huge role here too, but I think Nature got messed up by mankind’s attempt of “better living through chemistry.”
Thanks for reading. What do you think?
