of course she does, she is probably as scared as she has ever felt in her entire life right now. Do not use the words transition, hrt, srs, transsexual, or the like with her if you want to have a semi-rational conversation with her right now. Any mention of your goals will push her emotional fear buttons and her ability to think logically will be severely compromised. If you have feelings and thoughts that have to be expressed that would be a perfect time to pull out your journal...
3/4 of divorces in this country are filed by women. You have given this control to her by your past actions, do not be angry at her when she tries to use it. Do not push her too hard assuming that she is completely dependent upon you Paula, she might surprise you.
Of course your wife wants to be in control of your transition, you have given her that control Paula in the ways that I have described in previous posts. Do not assume that she will always feel dependent upon you being in her life. 75% of the divorces filed in this country are by women. Separating amicably would be very advantageous to your goals compared to the alternatives. It sounds like you have already been outed to at least 10 people and you mentioned you live in a redneck town. How would a family court judge treat a situation such as yours if your wife is vindicative towards you for ruining her marriage?
You need to realize that every time you talk about transition, hrt, srs, being a woman, etc it is pushing her emotional fear button. She will be less able to think rationally when feeling extreme fear, and don't kid yourself that she isn't. That is exactly what anyone feels when they think their future is crumbling away. Do not allow yourself to rationalize that you are both feeling the same emotion about your marriage ending because if you do the consequences could be more than you imagine right now.
If the idea of transitioning is so strong that you simply have to discuss it then pull your journal out or use this board. Talking about it with your wife is not a good choice right now.
