I suspect that your friend was trying to tell you that she could accept you as a woman whether you had one or not. For those of us who have wanted one all our lives, it's nearly impossible for us to even consider going through all the steps of transition then not completing the process. However, to a woman who has had one all her life, and may even be a bit of a tom-boy, it's just how things are. She might even wish she had your equipment.
As for difficulty achieving orgasm, that starts long before SRS. The testosterone blocker tends to make it nearly impossible to have erections, and certainly nothing useful for intercourse. It's still possible, with the right kinds of stimulation mentally, physically, and emotionally, to have orgasms, but it takes a while to get used to not ejaculating. Eventually you dry up and can only have dry orgasms.
There are some who remain she-males, often for financial reasons. Back in the 1980s, they could do the vaginoplasty, but the clitoris was purely cosmetic and non-functional. I remember seeing "Sulka's Wedding" and realizing that she did not have a clitoris. I saw an interview with Shannon where she discussed her transition. In those early days, they would not knock you out completely, because they needed to figure out how to connect the nerves correctly. Apparently, it was extremely painful, and the recovery took much longer than it does now. As surgical techniques have improved, so have the options and the quality of the finished product. There is still a painful recovery period, and after-care can be painful at first, but it seems to be worth it.
