I need more time to digest before responding to the advice that has been kindly offered.

In the meantime, I noticed a pinknews article today about Michael Jordan's daughter coming out as gay in a social media post. Something she had previously written is interesting in the context of the discussion here,

“Until love, trust, honesty, respect, loyalty, commitment, genuine happiness and other characteristics or aspects I want in a relationship is defined by one gender then and only then will I discuss my sexual preference.”
I do not understand what she is trying to say about being defined by one gender, but the list of things she wants out of a relationship is a good one. I will need to think more about the extent that I have those in my relationship, and whether they are gone for good or are feasible to restore.