Hello,

this last weekend has been really astonishing for me, in positive, because things are really starting to move on, accelerating.

First of all there is the news from the court. For now I get shared custody but the judge has not (still) gave to me free visitations rights for the children because he wants to hear more reports from the social workers in the coming months (this was expected, by the way, so it is not a "bad" news per se).

But now comes the good event. Friday evening I went to my doctor (the "generic" doctor) to prescribe me the 1st endo visit. It was the first time I went to her study, (I moved recently in this town) so I planned to go there in drag but not too much. I wore a band on my head (my hair is starting to grow...) no make up, a simple shirt, feminine trousers and shoes with no heels. A bit andro... the only real feminine clue was (under) a push up that gives me a natural breast.

Well... I went there and introduced to the nurse in the waiting room.

I was sure she thought I was a guy, she did not say to me "sir or ma'am", only "please take a seat".

Later another lady came and I heard the nurse said: "there is a lady waiting before you, ma'am".

"Lady?", which lady, I thought. I looked around the room, there were other people but they were
there before me and they probably were waiting for another doctor in the same study. Maybe
she meant ME?

The doubt went away some minutes later when I heard her say loudly: "Mrs. F.***"? (My last name).

I stood up, "yes...", excited and nervous, the doctor was on the room waiting for me, a woman apparently of my age (early 40s), who, with a smile, told me "good evening ma'am".

...

Then comes the funny part. She said she had to register me because it was the first visit. Asked my documents, and... of course I am "M" in my documents. But she continued without effort to talk to me with the feminine gender. She was really nice. She asked me all my medical history but apart from normal issues I did not see a doctor since my 20s (I have good health, thanks God)... so... "what are you asking here?" she said gently.

I told her of my 1st gender visit and that I need a formal referral to the endo consulting (even if it is inside the hospital in Italy you have to first have the paper from the generic doctor).

She said that she knew a young TS that transitioned in her 20s, she said that it is a difficult, expensive and risky path, but it is worth the effort if that is my nature. She continued to refer to me with the feminine gender and she prescribed me the endo and psycho consulting without any other observations.

Before I went out she wanted to measure my blood pressure and saying with a smile: "Probably you are nervous now and it will be a bit high". Yes, it was... (140-80) but she did not tell me anything apart "next time it will be better, dear".

---

When I went out I looked at the first mirror I found, on my elevator going home... and told myself: "do you see a woman here, honestly"? Well, I looked rather normal, like the other days... but why the other days I was "sir'ed" constantly? I had also a (small) beard shadow...

The doctor could have said to me "ma'am" for kindness, but the nurse? The nurse was seeing me for the first time, she did not know the reason I was there, she had no other clues to gender me apart from my voice and my look.

So I experimented another day. Next day, saturday, I went to the local market with a skirt. It has been the 1st time in public, in daylight. It has been pretty uneventful. I also went to buy some cotton female underclothing (I needed some), there were two women two meters on my right speaking about bra sizes which did not give me a second look and continued speaking about cups.

---

A GG I know has come to see me during the weekend. I went Saturday afternoon to take her at the train station. She knew about my desire to transition and she is very supportive. I went there with a skirt... also at the train station I was pretty invisible.

We passed two days like two normal women going around and making some shopping. The company of a GG is really helpful to get useful tips; about make up, look, whatever, but she said to me that I have a good taste and that she saw me "natural".

We were gendered correctly in all places, pizzeria, shops, bars, we went to the "ladies" together, no event, some occasional second look, but I don't know, I am not sure the reason, it could also be because they were looking at her, she is a really good looking woman, but a bit "short", I am 176 cm and she is not more than 160 cm, but really, really beautiful.

---

It seems that a "switch" has been touched inside. Without HRT, without laser, with only a bit of foundation and a skirt I "pass". Or at least I "blend". I will try to experiment more, with more of daylight "en femme" routes, but it seems that my body is changing, my "perception" of the "energy" which was inside is different.

I am transitioning faster than I thought.

Yesterday evening I went to the train station to bring my friend to go home, always with a skirt (she says I have nice legs and that I should show them). Later I walked alone, Sunday evening, in the streets, with a different feeling.

"... and is this all?".

"It cannot be so easy!"

Yes, of course, it cannot be and it is not so easy. I know the path is not even started.

Yesterday I tried to go deliberately in the streets to look, to sense the other people's reactions. I am sure that someone (especially young people, boys and girls) have "clocked" me, but probably mature people do not care, or they did gendered me female, and they don't give a second look. It's too early to know, I have to experiment more...but I really did not expected to be gendered female without hormones, with short hair in daylight by "normal" people in "normal" situations.

---

tonight I will see my ex, because our son's teachers will explain to the parents the current year program, I will go of course in drab... and I am scared that, even if I will be completely male dressed she (or the teacher) can begin to "sense" something.

I really cross-dress in male clothes and I do not feel "right" any more (never felt "right", I just pretended)