Is 2014 the year you out yourself to your wife or SO?

[Jenniferathome]

Whether it is or is not, I am sure there are plenty of new lurkers and many members who want to use the new year as a reason to tell their loved one that they are a cross dresser. First and foremost, you can do it and if your relationship is on a solid foundation, can survive this revelation. The choice is yours but I wanted to comment on one horrible mistake not to make.... Outing by leakage.

I have read numerous threads over the last few years about cross dressers wanting to leave hints in hopes that a wife will collect such hints as if they were a detective on some TV drama and reach a calm, reasoned conclusion that, "Oh, my husband must be a cross dresser." NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. Imagine what the TV detective would do without a dead body. He'd walk past clues left and right and would not connect the dots. Cross dressing is your dead body. Your wife or girlfriend likely does not even have "cross dresser" in her lexicon. Hints, clues, games, whatever are not going to cause her to ask you about it nor will they eliminate the surprise. She will be shocked. Don't kid yourself. In fact, those hints are more likely to cause her to have unfounded fears.

If you are ready to tell your spouse, you need to prepare yourself. Get your words thought out. Pick a low stress time when you have her full attention and tell her EVERYTHING. One time. Full disclosure. Failure to do so will cause a growing distrust. Lastly, set your expectations appropriately. Coming out does not mean she will embrace it. She may hate it. She may be scared. She may be curious. Whatever the response, it is a fair one. You don't get to cop an attitude. This is about you shocking her, nothing more. You get one chance to do this right. Make the most of it.

Best wishes to all,

and please, my intent is not about "should you" but "if you do"