On reading the subject line of your post, Paula, I was quite prepared to take issue. After reading the rest of your post, I have to agree with you. I don't blame CDs wives and SOs in the least for feeling betrayed, deceived, and deathly afraid of their future married state. I've seen more than one CDer come out of the closet, get out the door, start HRT, and completely destroy their marriage. What on earth did you expect?