All that is true, for the most part. Our 22 year old son still lives with me but he tells me he absolutely does not care what I wear, and has seen me dressed. Our 25 year old daughter comes over to work at our home office several days a week and is not ready to see me dressed.Originally Posted by MelanieAnne
Congradulations! Your life is now ultimatum free! You can now do what you want, when you want, if you want. You can spend your money as you see fit, buy anything you want, without permission. You can hang your fem clothes in the closet, and put your shoes under the bed, and not hide anything. And you'll probably live a little longer without the stress of hiding, or denying yourself the pleasure of dressing when you feel like it, and putting up with ultimatums.
On the other hand, I have lost much of my relationship with the woman who has been my best friend for more than half my life. It's bittersweet "victory". We have been talking lately though, and I believe that it is possible for us to resurrect the friendship over time.
They have told her, and I have also let her know that they are keeping with their "I don't care" attitude. I'm sure that threw her off, but I don't believe she'll reconsider. I'll talk about that in my general reply post.
You're right, Paula. It is awful. No matter how depressed I was because I had to suppress who I was, that was only the last 8 years, and we've had a 34 year life together. I still love her, and losing her, even for the time being, as a friend, is truly awful.
Thank you all for your kind words and support. It is really a comfort to me. There are a few things I wanted to clear up. First, my wife and I have struggled with my crossdressing for about 8 years, ever since it suddenly manifested itself, and she, shortly after, caught me wearing her clothes when I thought she was asleep. She tried really, really hard to accept it. Over the years, we had swings back and forth, where we would agree to some arrangements, and then i would push the limits, then she would pull back. Three years ago she made me promise to quit and purge, or she would divorce me, so I did. Of course, I couldn't keep that promise. This past year, we made a new agreement where I would go away twice a year and dress, but that's all. The Fantasia Fair trip was far more than she bargained for, however. When she went on their site and saw the workshops on transitioning, and developing a woman's voice and walk, etc., she became convinced I was going to transition, and that was the last straw.
Based on all that, I'm certain she won't reconsider. On top of that, I haven't been happy in my marriage for years, and she knows that, although I've soft-pedaled that. I really want our marriage to end. That doesn't keep me from being very sad about the loss of a relationship that has been one of the most important things in my life.
I don't know where my male/female balance is going to end up. Unfortunately, the education and self-exploration I was experiencing at Fan Far were interrupted by all this, and the chaos after I've gotten home has kept me from any real self-examination. This is going to take some time. In the meantime, I'm looking for more opportunities to go out en femme. I'm already planning on Esprit next year, and I'm starting to reach out to my sisters in San Diego and elsewhere in Southern California.
I really don't know what the future holds, but I'm sure it'll be interesting!
Thanks, Nancy! And isn't hearing things like that one of the best things about crossdressing?
That's key, Tracii, I agree. One of the things I've tried to explain to her is that I have no plan to give up being a man. It's going to take me some time to find out where the balance is, though.
Jackie, congratulations on finding an accepting woman and building a life with her! I'm sure I'll be able to do that some day as well, and your story gives me confidence that I can.
