Facial Hair

[Ceera]

1. gender identity :
Bisexual male, occasional Cross-dresser. I have no gender dysphoria. I see myself as male, but I also recognize that I have feminine aspects that I like to express occasionally. When I dress I love being accepted as a female, but I don't think I am one, and I would never fully transition or get SRS. I currently spend one evening a week en-femme. Hope to increase that eventually, but probably never more than 50% of the time.

2. How do you feel about the way facial hair looks on you? Do you like it? Are you ambivalent to it? Do you like growing different shapes of beards/mustaches? Do you like to experiment with different styles of facial hair? Do you hate your facial hair completely?
I spent most of my adult life sporting a full beard, or at a minimum a goatee beard. Usually kept it neatly trimmed and between one and two inches in length. I liked how it looked and felt. The GG I was married to for 30 years loved the way my beard looked and she hated it on the few rare occasions when I shaved it off. Part of that was because she was 6 years older than me, and without the beard I look a lot younger, and she thought others would accuse her of 'robbing the cradle! About 5 years ago my beard started turning white, and I really began to dislike how it looked, and particularly how old it made me look. But I kept it because my wife liked it. About that time I also started under-dressing, but knew I wouldn't ever try to do a full MtF appearance transition or go out as a girl until I lost the beard, and probably would never cross dress fully as long as my marriage lasted. A year and a half ago, after my wife died, I shaved the beard off, in part to look younger, and in part to allow me to cross dress and not look like 'a dude in a dress'. Now I pretty much hate the beard, because it grows so fast that I have to shave three times per day to keep stubble from appearing.

3. How do you feel about the way facial hair felt physically on you when it grew out?
Except for when it became white and made me look old, I liked it. If I quit cross dressing and grew it back, I would have to dye it to stand having a beard any more.

4. Have you ever participated or do you like participating in facial hair events such as Movember?
A long time ago, when I was in high school, I entered a 'beard growing contest'. I wasn't allowed to grow a full beard because of my job, but I grew a 'Ship's Captain' with moustache and mutton chop sideburns, and won an award for 'curliest sideburns.'

5. How do you feel about your five o'clock shadow? Are you able to effectively cover it with makeup when you dress as a woman?
The only good thing about my beard going white is that I no longer have much five o-clock shadow to deal with - just scratchy stubble that is not very easy to see, even without makeup. If I shave well and use a good foundation, it doesn't show for 3 to 4 hours. I don't need to color correct with a 'beard concealer'.

CDers, genderqueers, gender fluid, or dual gender only

6. Do you alternate between phases of growing out your beard to be a man, and shaving to CD to look like a woman (even if you don't pass)? How do you feel about this?
No. I remain clean-shaven, and shave 3x per day, so I can keep the option open of presenting as a woman. (Although I only dress about once a week.)