No, I'm not.Originally Posted by jenni_xx
My entire point has been that we share many common problems, and that someone who discriminates against us doesn't care about whether we are CD or TS.
What bothered me is that I get the impression that you and some other CDs don't really understand the privilege you have in being able to pass for cisgender - i.e. go out in drab.
Please don't misunderstand me. I have great sympathy for the misery many CDs express while leading a double life. That is not a privilege. A life lived in the closet, hiding from loved ones and friends is terrible. I know - I did it for 50 years.
However, I presume you can pick and choose your battles, avoiding situations such as:
- Your job
- Courtroom appearances
- Routine traffic stops (unless you are out en femme a lot)
- Many other public settings other than carefully chosen outings
- explaining to family why you wear a dress
The ability to avoid these situations by appearing cis means you don't really have to experience what those of us who transition have experienced. Your ability to be dismissive of our problems because you don't experience them yourself is the essence of privilege.
Now perhaps I've misjudged you or txcrossdress. Perhaps you are like Isha, and out everywhere a lot. I doubt this, because Isha experiences some of the same issues I'm discussing, transphobic prejudice, and reports them. I've not seen similar things from either of you, but if I have misunderstood or mischaracterized your situation, then I sincerely apologize.
I'll also allow that where you live may be a LOT different than where I live. Texas is a hell-hole for trans people.
But I very definitely object to the dismissive seeming comments. I lost every close friend I had when I came out as trans. Friends I'd had for thirty years. I'm lucky, because I kept my job (so far) and my immediate family. I lost my marriage of 18 years. I told you other really horrible stories that either happened to me, or that I got firsthand from a friend to whom they happened.
And yet y'all really want to quibble over whether those of us who transition are viewed better or worse than sex offenders? Who cares? (And again, I'd point out that a lot of the dialog about trans women in the U.S. directly comparesus to sex offenders. That is what we are in the opinion of a great many people in America.) My point is that what I see in our community (I lead one of the largest trans outreach groups in my state) are often dire cases of discrimination and socially ostracized trans people. We are not treated kindly, in general.
One of the biggest problems I see in the community I deal with are people who have NO ONE in their lives. No friends. No family. No friendly coworkers. No one. I certainly hope your life isn't like that, but if it isn't, I think you'd have to allow that you probably don't really know what living that way, month in, month out, would be like.
I have no idea what social pressures are faced by pedophiles or sex offenders. My point is that what many of us experience is terrible, and unlike them, we've committed no crime! I think this is a significant point. We are ostracized, but we aren't hurting anyone!
I'm very sorry you thought I was pulling rank. There is no rank. I have direct experiences I suspect you don't have both personally, and because of the organization I lead. I felt offended because you seemed to be offering opinions on matters that you have the opportunity to avoid. There has been a lot of that going on here in the CD forum lately.
If I have misjudged or mischaracterized your situation, please set me straight and I'll apologize.
I hope that I've given you my perspective on why I don't think public opinion of trans people in my country could be much worse than it is. I've seen direct improvements here because of Jenner's story.
