To start with, my wife has known I CD for about 3+ yrs, but we have been together for 13+ yrs. . I wear women's clothes on a daily basis, but do not fully dress and never have. Anyway, during a recent conversation, she wondered if there was more I may not be telling her. She did not imply I was lying or hiding anything from her, but maybe lying to myself, in regards to my true feelings about dressing. Made me wonder if I'm still on the path of discovery or am I suppressing something. I had been dressing off and on for years since I was a kid, from the exciting times during and after puberty, too the whole binge and purge thing as I got older. Now I'm at the place where I enjoy wearing more openly and have been working on making my wardrobe a mix of both sexes and dress for the occasion. So I can see the progression, which I think is what brings up the question.

When I started thinking about it, as a kid I remember seeing the girls in their pretty outfits and thinking they look nice. Boys clothes seem so boring and rough and this still holds true today. As I got older and was checking out girls for a different reason, I would also still be checking out their outfits. Thinking not only would I like to go out with them but I would like to wear the same outfit. Those thoughts have carried over till adulthood. See a pretty woman, I'm not only looking at her, I'm looking at her outfit. Hmm, nice top, ugh to the pants, nice heels and etc... I know, I'm so picky. lol So It got me thinking that I associate the softness of the clothes, the heels, the shimmer and feel of stockings, painted nails and etc.. as pretty.

Rhetorical questions I've been pondering:
So am I CD'ing to feel pretty? I know when wearing lingerie or certain outfits, I wouldn't mind having the breast and hips to fill them out properly. However, when doing a project, I would say the breast may get in the way. lol All joking aside, does wanting or wishing I had those two attributes, for the reason stated, change anything? Am I suppressing more because of fear of the answer?

Seems like a million dollar question, that is by no means easy to answer. However, I'm guy who doesn't read instructions, so I have to give it go. lol I don't envision myself as a women or think I should have been born one, though I wouldn't mind having a couple physical attributes as mentioned above. I change my sitting habits only when I wear skirts and change my walk when I wear heels. Both for obvious reasons. Aside from that, I don't portray any other feminine traits, that I'm aware of. So as of this post, I'm leaning to the reason I CD is because I feel pretty when I do.

Look forward to your stories, situations and/or thoughts.