Just to give some background during my working life I've single handed doubled the size of two homes, renovated two homes for my daughter, the same applies to my son, in fact I'm still helping with the second, also I renovated a retail shop. I'm not claiming to be unique, I'm sure other members have worked much harder but bear in mind that I was also running my photography business, mostly running on only two cylinders, two in male mode and two pulling in another direction. I have to say that I'm now mentally and physically tired of it, something has changed in me, I posted some time ago asking if I was getting lazy or something was changing.
Suddenly I hit my sixties and find the mental and strange gut feelings have revealed another side of me, it really has been a revelation that I like having a figure that can wear female clothes and feel comfortable in them, call it an obsession, pink fog all I know is a new life has appeared for me.

So where's the problem , at the moment I have thread running asking if you enjoy your double life ? There's the problem , I have three lovely grandchildren, my son has two young sons who we child mind twice a week , my wife is fairly lenient but I'm finding it harder to deal with the situation . As two boys they are fairly destructive, my wife says it's part of growing up but my garden is becoming a bomb site and the house is being trashed, we now have two cracked WCs where they have slammed the lids down, one round the rim and the other across the seat fixing holes. If I say two words I'm being an old grouse but I know who has the work of replacing them . My wife half taunting and half joking keeps asking if I want a list of all the house jobs almost as if the male straight jacket will keep me away from my CDing .
I have two lots of antidepressant prescriptions sitting in the medicine cabinet which I prefer not to take because I found the side effects more unlivable than the initial problem but the situation is driving me mad.
I feel guilty that I don't have the enthusiasm to tackle the jobs, I'm not making excuses when I say my mind has changed I'm genuinely not interested in that kind of work anymore and it's becoming harder to tackle. The double life I feel I'm living at the moment isn't helping at all, to be happy as Teresa and unhappy as Terry could change so quickly if I could integrate the two. I know I will never get back to where I was but being considered an old grouch really does hurt when it's not true .

Somewhere in my threads I usually apologise, I'm sorry I have to write this thread.