Thankyou both.
Her "speculation" has never ceased since she was given access to one of my computers many... many years ago. I didnt clean the .DAT file.
This was a long time ago. The internet was a new thing. I had had this "special interest" for years before. The internet did not create this in me. It just allowed me to explore it.
But I am not trying to be offensive to anyone. I am one of you. This was early 2000's. There were not the websites and help groups there are now. Nor the understanding. There were a few really crappy porn sites that had a "Chicks with dicks" section. I wasnt interested in the dick part. I was very interested in the "how chick can you be with a dick" part if you get me.
She saw that at the time. It was a major part of our disintegration. I still never said anything... even knowing it would lead to family breakup. She gave me a choice I suppose. But it was Hobsons choice.
And now many years later when we have nothing much to do with other except to make sure our daughter grows up to be the awesome woman I know she will be... THIS.
It is killing me internally. I have done nothing wrong. I feel constant humiliation. And I am not used to that. I am used to controlling a situation. I am used to setting the agenda. And I dont like this. I dont know how to proceed and move forward.
