I am in a DADT arrangement with my SO since I came out to her. So the irony here is I want to talk about my dressing but she doesn't. When she does its bc she's found something I've left out or when she is fearful about something (sometimes related to my dressing other times its other things but she transfers the worry onto the dressing . Her biggest fear is all she has read about dressing being a progressive endenver and there coming a time.when where I want to go with things ia somewhere she can't. I think in the 4 + years since she's known we've set solid ground rules which I've stuck to but I find myself getting increasingly frustrated over the desire to be more open with her and her desire to pretend it doesn't exist. We have young kids and neither of us want to expose them to this side of me at least until they are older so I share her desire to keeps things under wraps. Just want her to want to know more about this side of me and maybe find a way to use this to become closer not further apart. Right now however the pretending it doesn't exist, dressing then not saying so.and hiding it from her so she doesn't have to be uncomfortable with the idea feels like the same wall that was there when she didn't know.
Some background:
We've been to couseling, i only dress closeted or on the road, we have a set of written boundries which i have honored and she's ok'd me having my make up bag in our closet and she has seen 1 picture of me dressed but thats it. Says she loves me, is glad we are together and that I am an attentive dad and husband and I have made sure my fem side doesn't mean she doesn't have her man when she wants him.
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So would be grateful for input here from GGs and other gurls too.
Thank you
