Feel so awful, even cowardly.
I had a visit from an old shipmate (Navy friend) the other day. I'm not out to him, and I'm barely on a transition path; still learning the extent of my dysphoria. There's no doubt however that I am gender fluid SOMETHING, a crossdresser and quite possibly transgender. He is an old school kind of guy who served under my command and alongside me at times. On that level we are more than just friends.
Very old school, this gent. Near the end of our visit and lunch he went on a (political) tirade against "all snowflakes", and then went on about Transgenders; especially transgenders in the military. He was against their suitability for service; against taxpayer money supporting their medical needs, against VA benefits for TG care, etc. I briefly tried to talk him down, reminding him he probably had LGBT Sailor & Marines under his charge, and that the TG "phenomena" was real. [He insisted there were but 2 genders.]. I didn't really feel like I wanted to get into it with him, especially on this topic. And I didn't need to come out to him; not a soul so hostile to it. I didn't know he was of such a mind, but could have guessed.
Afterwards I felt like I chickened out and failed to call him out on it. He is a friend after all and not just an ex-shipmate.
As I proceed down my gender path I pray I have the courage to be Me, and stand up for all my brothers and sisters. It was a reminder that not everyone needs to know (until it gets to a transition point where it's impossible to cover.] I hate the thought of continued "living in shame" and afraid to expose myself, Yet, it seems wise to pick my fights (so to speak); especially with folks who once knew me as someone else in an entirely different life.
I just needed to get that off my chest.
