I had a close call a month ago with a Police Booze / Drug Bus, which is fairly big operation where all traffic is stopped on the road and breathalysed for alcohol and drugs. I am barely passable however I do make an effort and do go out in public. I was driving home from a night out in the city (Melbourne), an hours drive from my hometown. I diverted off the hi way to do some midnight window shopping. Coming in to town off the overpass , my heart stopped as I saw the Booze Buses, Police and Police Vehicles everywhere, the road blocked, lit up with stadium flood lights. I slowed my car ready to stop. Turns out the Bus was setting up. Whew, I rolled though the stop. I returned home and explained the close call to my wife. She was concerned. I explained that it is not illegal for me to explore my more feminine side in public and that I am at a point where I don't care what people think. I frequently venture out fully dressed over the winter months, my wife does not want to know where I go or what I do as long as I am safe and don't mess around.

As fate would have it, turns out last Friday night was my lucky night. As per above. 11.30pm freezing cold. Fully dressed to impress, with make up done to the best of my ability, the Booze Bus Operation spread out on the road way ahead. All traffic ahead gets waved into the the testing site. I think f*** it, I take a deep breath, calm and collected, I hope that I don't get a male officer testing me. Hope that I don't get asked for my license, knowing that I never carry it with me. I decide if to use my male or female voice. I roll to a stop for one of the awaiting officers, I wind my tinted window down. I could tell by her momentary pause she was surprised, this "lady" is definitely on something. She was hoping as much as I was that a positive result was not returned, I replied that I had not been drinking, I casually blow into into device, leaving a heavy coating of deep red lipstick on the straw. The officer had trouble keeping eye contact - looking into down into my car checking out what I was wearing. Eye contact still not made by the officer, clearly uncomfortable. "Negative" alcohol result. I slowly depart without having to give a saliva sample for drugs. The urge to window shop passes. I returning to the highway, I head home. My wife awakes, relieved that I am home, "how was your night", I reply "you will never guess what happened".