M sister is six yrs older than me. I , regretfully, kept putting o her swimsuit, and pantyhose, and a dress. I ruined the pantyhose, and got aroused and made messes in them, and caused runs, and holes. I regret doing i t today, a total invasion of her privacy and belongings, and my mom's too! I think it is one reason my sister will not wear dresses or hose around me today, and she never wanted a man, or marriage or kids. She is 70 and still single like me. But i was only about 14 then and could not help it. But, around that time, my parents told me they wanted me to see a shrink. I think they knew . I felt horrible guilt, and shame, and stopped for years after that, and joined the service, too. In my 50's, a lady i now in my church, let me stay in a vacant house, where her mom, her, and her sister lived/ Her mom and sister had passed away, and the closets and drawers were full of dresses, and other things. I tried on many dresses, though they were a bit too small.. I ripped a few, and tried to sew them back right. After living there, i moved, and finally bought my first dress at a thrift store. I feel some guilt for raiding the clothes in her house. Later, i had two other housemates there, and it was very hard to dress up, with them there. I was asked by the lady owner, to gather up things to give to the dump or charity, so i finally washed the things and gave them to her. Yhis strong overwhelming compulsion to wear dresses, hose , heels, wig and jewelry is much harder to control, than smoking or alcohol, and can get me into trouble, all too easily, and i regret invading others closets now. It is such a temptation!! Lat night i dreamed i rented another place, and it was chock full of dresses!
