I crossdressed once at 15 but it was at the request or two girls I played with in the neighborhood.
All the kids hung out at that families house because the had a huge in ground pool.
I had really long hair so they were all the time braiding my hair as well.
The notion to dress me up as a girl was their idea but I liked being around them so I let them do it.
At that time I had no clue what it meant or what I was doing,I was just a kid.
Trying to get into the deep reasons of why we do what we do is a fruitless venture.
I think you are reading too much into all this
