Coming out?

[Alexandra Collins]

I'm still new to this forum, and this is the first "serious" thread I've started. So far I've found the forum to be very helpful in terms of information, inspiration and interesting stories!

I've only been dressing for a year, and going outside dressed for 8 months. But I've already met about 20 local CDs, and I'm amazed at some of their stories, in particular how long they've been dressing, and/or how strong the urge to dress must be given the circumstances they find themselves in. I know one who has been dressing 30 years, but their wife doesn't know. I know another who their wife knows, and she is absolutely against it and wants nothing to do with it; this CD is so conflicted, fearful and desperate to dress that it is heart breaking to see their situation. And then there are those in some degree of DADT situation, and even that I find very sad and I assume it could still be very discouraging for the CD.

Anyway, all of this got me to thinking that the situation for so many of us struggling with secrecy or lack of acceptance could be better if as many of us as possible came out to more of the people around us (friends, family and co-workers)? Seems like the more people who realize there are CDs around them, the more general acceptance would grow and the need for secrecy would diminish. I realize this is easier said than done, but I'm thinking if we know someone who we are pretty sure would be OK with it, shouldn't we tell them? I've heard first hand and read online many CDs say that when you go out people will treat you nice, and not bother you, etc. I know this is true, but that doesn't address the ironic fact that so many are "out" to strangers they encounter when they're out, but they're still 100% in the closet when it comes to the people in their lives, even their spouse!

Personally, I am out to my S.O. (she is supportive), my therapist, and some SAs at stores where I buy things I need for CDing. But I'm not out to any of my friends, family or co-workers. But I strongly feel the urge to do so, and I think I'm getting close to the point of telling those I am pretty sure will not react badly. The reason I want to do this is strictly selfish: since CDing has become an important part of my life, I will have more people I can talk to about the thing that is almost always at the forefront of my thinking, instead of only talking about the other things that these people know are a part of my life, but are now mostly much less important to me as compared to CDing. But it seems another benefit of more of us coming out to more people around us, would be the reduction of fear and ignorance, and the need for secrecy and DADT situations.

I'm very curious what others think. Do you think more people coming out will eventually make it better for others? Further, do you feel any responsibility to come out, at least to those who you suspect will react positively?