in deebra's defense- I don't think it useful to speculate on people's motives here- it is guesswork and criticizing them is discouraging to sharing.
The forum is very repetitive in terms of the types of posts, and this particular question comes up all the time. it comes up over and over because we CDs know deep in our hearts that it is not a problem, yet everyone around us [IRL not here on the forum] seems to be saying it is one. especially the parental authority figures deep in our past who still hold sway over us in so many ways.
Those of us who break out of the closet and just do it anyway find out it really isn't a big problem most of the time. But if you can't get closer to the door of your closet you are like a bird in a cage hopping around and wanting out, and wondering why you are locked in. Encouraging the bird to notice the lock is open, to push open the door and come out, is a whole lot more friendly and might even help them break the cycle of wishing and fearful retreat.
