I think you should go ahead and get a wig and some makeup. Don't spend a fortune on it but it needs to be better than a Halloween wig. It is an experiment to see how you react to that addition and, in my experience, that addition adds a lot to the experience. Your mileage may vary.
In my opinion, if you are married your situation can become horrendously complicated. Good communication between your wife (husband) and yourself is very important. And be respectful of their feelings; after all, you want them to respect your feelings as well. More important to talk about feelings than facts. The facts are important, but the facts are just facts. The feelings are where the rubber hits the road. That is what and where you live and interact. Use analogy. "Putting on some feminine attire makes me feel like ..." Here is an example. "... like I am naked on a vast empty beach and I can be totally free to be nothing but myself." Using analogy really works. It also works with things that are not so positive like being rejected in some way. And try to avoid using the word "you." That is a bit of an accusation and immediately puts the person on the defensive.
