Ask a GG - Three

[char GG]

Just a reminder to the newer people for this section: It's for a question to be asked of the GG's. The GG answers. There is no back and forth discussion in this thread.



TamaraToros,

I understand that it is a great loss of confidence. What advice could you give her?

Well, it's a complicated question. Are they really the same? Were they hiding this when they got married or did it "suddenly" come on late in life (as was the case with my husband). It's hard to give a wife any advice without knowing the specifics of the husband's commitment to his wife vs CDing. Maybe they are the same person on the outside but inside has changed. It could certainly vary and/or change. A question that I had when my hubby started CDing was, "what is the end game"? Did he stick to it? Does he secretly or not so secretly want to go further? Is he excited for the wife to leave so he can CD? Does he think that by pushing (which the GG's call the drip drip drip method), that he will somehow get his wife "patterned" to CDing. This is usually an obvious ploy/trick which in my case, would have definitely made me angry, backfire, and not trust any of his answers to my questions.

Each relationship is different and there is no "one answer fits all" to your question.

In my case, my husband has assured to me over and over that he is committed to our relationship over and above CDing. That may not be true for everyone.

From your point of view, what could I do to reaffirm to her that I am still the same person as always?

You are the only one that can answer this question. Do you love her the same? Treat her the same? Do you think she gets in the way of your CDing? I can't answer any of that.

One of the GG's here met her hubby as a CDer.