I've recently been pondering how many wives are accepting vs. non-accepting. There's not much data out there, so I thought about collecting data here. To collect this data, I didn't do any "digging" into past posts by anyone. I also didn't add in anyone that I knew their status. I just waited for new posts to come in where a person clearly stated what acceptance they did or didn't have from their wives. I didn't include people who are divorced, single, with a girlfriend, or widowed. Only currently married people, and only referencing their current spouse. If they were previously married, I didn't include the previous marriage. I also didn't include my own status. I wanted to wait until I had 100 posters on the forum, and today I got to 100 and 101.

I think there's a general impression by many here that the vast majority of wives are not supportive, that many of us live in DADT relationships of one kind or another, or are in the closet. So far as I'm aware, there is no way to post a poll here, but I would love to do so before posting this data, but alas. I think probably a majority think accepting women are a minority or even a rarity. I certainly don't mean to depress those of you in unhealthy DADT or closeted situations. I've been there (at least with a long term girlfriend), and it's difficult to say the least. I totally empathize. Mainly, I wanted to see what the data came through with. This might prove helpful to some people, especially those who are single, starting a new relationship, or in the closet. No, I did not collect data on when a wife found out (before or after the wedding). That data would be interesting certainly, but more difficult to collect without asking the question directly.

Caveat; this is entirely unscientific. I'm not a statistician, and this data set is selective in that it is coming ONLY from people who post on this forum, which is a small, possibly not representative sample of the entire population of crossdressers. Still, I find it interesting.

I assigned people to six different categories. They were:
  1. Closeted; wife does not know at all.
  2. Unhealthy DADT; accidental exposure either of the husband being dressed or femme clothes will cause a problem.
  3. Unknown DADT; it's DADT, but uncertain what effect an accidental exposure would have.
  4. Healthy DADT; wife knows, and while it's DADT an accidental exposure either of the husband dressed or their femme clothes will not cause a problem, just not desired.
  5. Wife knows, not DADT; She knows, but doesn't do anything to actively support the husband crossdressing. It's ok to be dressed en femme around her, but she doesn't participate, buy things, or openly encourage (or discourage).
  6. Wife supportive; wife is fine with husband dressing en femme around her, and she actively supports them by buying them things, encouraging them to dress, or otherwise being involved.


So here's the results:
  • Closeted: 9
  • Unhealthy DADT: 8
  • Unknown DADT: 6
  • Healthy DADT: 15
  • Wife knows, not DADT: 22
  • Wife supportive: 41


So, in about 62% of marriages, the wife is at least OK with her husband dressing en femme around her. I found this figure very surprising. Personally, I would have expected it to be around 40%, maybe a bit less. If you include the Healthy DADT pool, then more than 75% of marriages are such that the husband crossdressing is not a direct problem. 75%!