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Thread: The problem with being a real woman

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  1. #10
    Hugging the Kurves! RobertaFermina's Avatar
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    Dec 2006
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    When I see women, as a GM in MaleBeing, I see her for who she is inside by the energy she radiates, as well as her appearance.

    I also see her as someone I would be judged for associating with.

    If I am attracted to a voluptuous woman, I need to weigh whether my fulfillment with her outweighs my fear of being judged by other people for 'settling' and not seeking out a more challenging conquest. I actually have this thought pattern learned into my psyche - appalling as it sounds.

    I experienced this with my ex-fiancee. I met her on the phone and had a brilliant 45 minute conversation with her, and invited her to a date, so we could get to know each other better. I liked her so much, I couldn't just put the phone down after saying 'perhaps we'll meet someday.' I was so glad, giddy even, when she accepted, and amazed at my (relative to my patterns) forwardness.

    When I went to the Tea House, and went to the front door, I peeked in, and saw a bright freckled red-head seated at a table, and no one else. I also saw that she was above 200lbs and about 5'2" tall.

    I hesitated, and checked in with my gut. I reminded myself that here was a person I was so impressed by that I arranged my own blind date, and here I was feeling judgement of her. Whatever I thought about it, I stepped forward into six years of bliss, learning, misery, and learning that I reflect on with joy and sadness, and no regret. She is still voluptuous, and if she did not have a boyfriend, and she would have me, I would seriously consider getting back together. Love Remains.

    All that time my connection was to her as a person, and my desire was to make something of our lives, support her in her dreams, get her support for mine...alongside my desire to flee from the hurts and confusions that are inevitable in relationship.

    Her weight was never an issue during those six years, yet I once stood at a threshold, considering whether to cut that possibility off, in judgment of her appearance.

    What made the difference? The Golden Rule. I wouldn't want to be judged that way, I'd want a chance to show someone who I really am, why shouldn't she have that chance. Game Over. We both won.

    Roberta
    Last edited by RobertaFermina; 01-25-2007 at 03:02 PM.
    [COLOR=Red]Open your Heart :

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