Is rejecting/accepting your SO based on your PERCEPTION of the relationship?

[MJ]

true i guess someone has to go out there and tell the world the way it is . who among us will be first .... thats the problem

[battybattybats]

Wickanne GG said:

35 years (I can remember) of speaking with 1000's of people and I cannot answer that, but I will say this…if those are the adjectives you use when dealing with GGs in real life you may want to have a read or reread of post #42 in this thread, if it's not then don't worry about it.

If a GG I am talking to makes a sexist comment or disparages a group of other women I point it out. Thus far though that has not been a problem for me. Virtually all of them are still friends and the one exception ceased to be over something else (and the rest of my circle stopped talking to her too). Of course the small smile and the tone of voice that I say these things with end up missing in text form.

AmberTG said:

I am only one human being, trying to correct a lifetime of conflict and inner turmoil, and may never qualify for that thing that I long for most, to be accepted as a woman, because she lives inside this male body. I may always be excluded from the "girl's club" because of physical characteristics that hide the true person. There is nothing I can do about this except be depressed about it and hope for the best.
This is the part that both "normal" men and women will never understand about transgendered people. They lack the frame of reference to even begin to understand the the way we think and feel, and simply cannot "wrap their minds" around this thought process. Sense "normal" men and women make up the rules, we have very limited options. This is why so many post-ops disappear into the woodwork, simple acceptance.
Actually, this opens a couple of old wounds that I thought were healed.

It's posts like yours that remind me how deeply and vitally true it is that acceptance of differance diversity and freedom of expression is a moral and ethical obligation. It's true that the greater the differance and the closer the relationship with the person is the harder that acceptance is to hold and yes, people have the freedom to choose to do immoral, unethical and wrong things but those things are no less wrong. No less evil.

MJ said:

sorry but that hurts

please i don't mean to offend anyone this is how i feel

that hurts real bad again it's better to have a gun to our head and end it all than go through the hell we do and yes so some woman don't like what we have become ..
how do we pay our dues so we can get in to the club of woman ???
what do i have to do to get in !!! psychologist will tell you i was never a guy !!! there for were does that leave me ?
it seams that in this world the are people who get who and what we are and then there are the people who don't ..
i understand we need to change attitudes and be positive but the question is how ? Thank You

Bigoted statements always do hurt, even when they are reportings of the views of others.

Bigotry is an extention of ignorance and/or fear.
Willfull ignorance, where someone refuses by choice to consider or accept new evidence whether because they have attached too much emotion to prior beliefs, had them become deeply ingrained to the point where it's become reflexive and they are too lazy to root them out or for whatever other reason is just totally and absolutely unacceptable. It is a betrayel of thought, of reality, of truth.
Everyone exists in a state of ignorance about many things, people pick up unconciously biased and bigoted views of all sorts of subjects, on race, religion, the sexes, sexuality. We all have to be prepared to examine ourselves for these biases, to learn more about the things we dislike, fear or look down upon, to challenge the views we hold rather than blindly defending and rationalising them. Not to do so is to do wrong just as racists who stay being racists do wrong, chauvenists who remain chauvenists do wrong, homophobes who remain homophobic do wrong.


Being human, doing the right thing, is hard. Let us all try to be patient with each other and to reach out, not just to fellow human beings in similar situations to ourselves but also to the ones we most dissagree with, that we most hate, that we most fear and that hurt us the most. Not as placation but from genuine sympathy with the ignorance and struggle that they too live within.

[AmberTG]

Wickanne, I can see that you've had a lot of time to think about this in depth! I believe your analysis holds up pretty well for most situations, and not just for CDing, I can think of a number of issues between spouses that this would apply to. The CDing issue just happens to be a particularly difficult issue for many people, it really is a matter of preference and perception. If a woman, or man, for that matter, really just can't handle something the spouse does, or is, for whatever reason, it will cause a breakdown of the marital relationship.
I can't speak for the CDers but, as a TG person, we just have to accept the possibility that it will end the relationship with a spouse. It seems to come with the territory, unfortunately. It's certainly not the way I would prefer it, but the only person I have any control over at all is myself. My ex left me because she wanted a relationship with a "real" man and, lets face it, I'm not. I don't really know what I am, but I do know what I'm not.
I must say, again, that this is the most in-depth discussion that I have personally seen on this website. It's really been food for thought for me.

[Wickanne GG]

I am glad we all can feed each others brains....no 'silence of the lambs' jokes please :D


Wickanne