Dear Lisa,Originally Posted by Lisa Mae
I don't know what it is that you are doing wrong, but it may be your own fears that are giving you trouble. Most people just don't care what you have on, so if you are continually getting snickers and rude comments, you must be doing something to call attention to yourself.
Are you dressing appropriately? This is a biggy, hon. You need to dress exactly the same as all the other women around you. If you dress better (or "up"), people will take a second look at you, and that's what you don't want. And OMG hon, you CAN'T dress ****ty. If the women around you are wearing jeans and you are wearing a dress or skirt, you are calling attention to your self. This doesn't matter for a GG, but it does matter for us.
Second, you need to have the self confidence that says, "I am here, and I belong here". If you display any hint of embarassment or discomfort, others will pick up on that and, again, will give you a second look. Second looks are not what we want.
Thirdly, you have to SMILE. This was mentioned already in a previous post and it is really important. Women smile at men, they smile at other women, and they smile to themselves. You need a big smile and you need to use it often. Look at Karren Hutton's pictures. THAT'S what I'm talking about. She uses it all the time, and Karren has little or no trouble going anywhere she wants.
Look hon, I have a male body. I have big feet, big hands, wide shoulders, small breasts, big head, no butt, no hips, and no waist. There is no way I could "pass". Yet I live and work as a woman 24/7. I blend. I blend. I blend. I do everything I just told you about above. Most people just don't see me, because I dress and act just like all the other women around me. I'm just another woman. And those who DO see me don't care, again, because I dress and act just like all the other women around me. I'm normal! Maybe a bit boring, but normal.
And my secret weapon? My smile! I greet everyone I see with a BIG smile. A smile just like Karren's. It's really a grin. (this is not hard for me, as I am having so much fun) People usually smile back, and then I got 'em! It's really hard to be mean to someone once you have smiled at them. And a smile tells people that you are relaxed about where you are and what you are doing.
So there you have it, dear. The secrets of going out as a woman, from someone who does it all day every day.
Lovies,
Stephenie
