Question #1

[StephanieCD]

Hope I wasn't too over the top I just always wished, when I was young and trying to figure out why I did what I did, that someone would just tell it to me straight - someone who knew about these things. I spent my life in shame and fear - until I met a pre-op TS (that's pre-operation transsexual to the uninitiated here) - s/he showed me it was ok and talked to me frankly. Little did she know I was a CD... I kept it a secret, even from her.

So, please excuse my bluntness - if helpneeded wants, I will remove the post... perhaps it's too old for her son?

[SissyPanties]

I thought what you said was good.

[Tristen Cox]

Can I go next? Oh ok thanks:D Hi again mom, good to see you came back. As you can see you've gotten some help from some really good people. I'm not all that worldly but what I do say should make some sense I hope. So I'll try to keep this short and to the point.

(To your son: )

Hiya friend!
Don't even look at the title under my name above my picture, it means nothing. I am really as average as they come. Well maybe not even average. Before I found these people here I felt alone confused and also self aware that I too felt guilty. I wondered why I was like this, wondered why I couldn't stop trying to look more female. I found a fair amount of education from the 'ladies' here and knew from their words and experience there was no longer a need to feel alone. There are tens of thousands of us and probably more all over the world(maybe millions). It boils down to expressing yourself. Some guys act macho to express themselves. Some prefer to become smart, or to some degree be 'in power' over things. Each of us strive to be what we feel inside. This crossdressing thing is just another facite of that trying to express what we feel.

Straight up, it may not last for the rest of your life. You may find you no longer like it and lose the urge at some point. But to deny it will just bottle up this energy and feeling you have. That right there can and possibly will do more damage over time. What will be will be, so let yourself free and express who you are without feeling guilty. You've been given the gift of life and choice. This is your life and these are your choices. When you are dressed look in the mirror. Do you like the way you look and feel, or does it disgust you? Your answer is right then and there. That's the power of choice, but things do change and you have to change with them. Don't lock out knowledge. Learn from others on this side, most of us are just normal people who do the same thing as everyone else in the world. And we have the added benefit of seeing things fully instead of from one side of the fence.

Hopefully that adds some light for you. Ask anything you like anytime, that's what we're here for Take care

Love
Tristen

[Jill]

Hello there, I thought I would throw in a little bit here because I do care, and I have seen what you have typed and asked and it strikes a familiar chord. When I was your age, I often felt a lot of shame along with what I did. I am not completely comfortable with it now at 26 but I am just more comfortable with who I am as a person and I think in time, you will find the same thing. I think what you are feeling is natural and my advice is to just do what's natural and certainly try not to take it too seriously. It's tough being that young anyway, with all the pressure to fit in, be strong enough, athletic enough, good looking enough, cool enough, it's rough. Whatever you do, don't let your peers find out, none of them are mature or loyal enough to understand.

As for why it's this way? That was one of the first questions I asked when I came to a forum like this one. Why do we do it? I certainly don't know, I just like how it makes me feel, that's all I can say and that's probably all you can say to. I haven't been able to figure out the real reasons why, but I don't worry to much about it. That's just how it is...

You are lucky to have such a supportive and loving mother. I know you feel ashamed and embarrassed about it, but your mother really does care and you can trust her and I would urge you to do so. Good luck.

[DonnaT]

"MOM," just wondering if you and he tried the forum for the younger generation I mentioned in my PM?

"SON," I reckon you can tell from the above posts, there are adults, even older than those you've heard from, who still feel as you do now.

Personally, I guess I've been lucky and never felt bad about being a crossdresser. What's the point? You are how you are, and the sooner you accept that, the better you will feel.

Why are you this way? Research points towards genetics and hormones processed before you were born. Some don't subscribe to that theory, but until a better one comes along, that's my story and I'm sticking to it :D

Seriously though, many things can happen to our genes as we grow from the egg to a baby. Some people end up with XX chromosomes (female) and some XY chromosomes (male), however there are other combinations as well, such as XXY, XXYY, XXXY. So as you can see, anything can happen as we are being born. And there is no cure. So there is no need to beat yourself up over something that has no cure.

As for how to deal with what you are feeling, i.e., shame, etc., you should only feel that way when you do something bad. Crossdressing is not bad. You are not hurting anyone. It is not a sin.

You'll find as you get older, the younger generation, especially some of the girls, like the idea of dressing their boyfriends up.

You are lucky that there is so much information available on the Internet, but unlucky as well because all that information can be confusing. Remember, though, that being a crossdresser pertains to gender identity, which is completely separate from ones sexual orientation (bi, gay, straight). The two are not related.

There is a movement going on in schools now that is directed towards teaching kids tolerance with those they perceive to be different. While mainly directed towards tolerance of gays and lesbians, transgered youths are also being included.

If you want to make sure things for you and others like you in school are not as bad as they were for us, you might want to consider the information on following web pages: http://www.dayofsilence.org/

You hold your destiny in your own hands, and your mother can only help point you in the right direction.

And when you get older, remember not to hide it from anyone that may become your future wife. Always be honest with them, always.

[StephanieCD]

Here here.