Are crossdressers insulting to women?

[waspookie6]

From a GG married to a CD (recent revelation) - I'm not sure this is as much about insulting as it may be competition. A list of what women face all their lives and list men face all their lives. If it offers insight...that is all we can hope for I think.
*I use the word "man" and "men" as a general term.


Women are supposed to dress up, shave our legs and all that from a young age to catch the eye of a man. It does not mean we will not have our hearts broken in the process.

Men are supposed to show they can dress rugged and nice at the same time also showing a woman they are desirable as a husband. They are brought up with the 'hunter & gather' mindset and have to exhibit this to the men that surround them in their lives. Sometimes the expectation to "be a man" is as difficult as expectations to "be attractive to get a man".

Women venture out of the home and most must work as well. We end up having to compete with other women for the same job - and men too. Depending on the job it rarely comes to competency but the thinning of the herd comes down to one's sex. It's a harsh reality no matter how much people say "we've come along way" in that department.

Men don't always want the jobs they have - they get them because its just easier being a man than to be able to run a daycare center or something far more nurturing. Men are overwhelmed at the choices presented. Math skills, problem solving, delegating et al are supposed to be easy to them opening more job choices.

Women begin to have children. Most become very defensive overall - the demand of that instinct to protect their children including providing food, shelter, and clothing kicks in. Its all or nothing and again, other women will judge the Mom on how she is doing - whether she asked for that input or not.

Men are invited into their own children's lives by the bearer of their children. It does not matter how much they love them, they simply are excluded aside from pure exhaustion to change one more diaper for the day. This tips the scales away from the nurture man. They only get to show their son how to pee standing up, they don't get to give advice to their daughters how to not look like a tramp or too much like a tomboy.

As life changes a woman's body this seemingly endless propaganda to stay as young looking and energetic as possible is every nook and cranny of life. Menopause is horrific. So is the ever increasing lung cancer and breast cancer numbers among women and for f's sake! Women have to look good dying! Looking how you feel is again, out of the question by just looks from other women or looking at those who can pull off jeans, a blazer and heels not looking uncomfortable and under 5 minutes prep time can deflate a good day. Everything is a struggle...including feeling and being female.
If the wife stayed at home or worked part time, entering into the work force at an older age is defeating with every interview. You need a current education and employment history.

Men enter menopause (oh yes! they do too!) the hair falls out from the top, grows out of the ears or new eyeglass frames have to be bought to accommodate for eyebrows that could ensnare a wild boar. The tummy bulges and flab appears where it never did before. Men begin to discuss the latest pill on the market to make love longer or whenever - that was NEVER a problem before! The wind could blow and shwing! Now it stares sadly at the floor in hurricane force winds.

During war times this is even more pronounced. I think back to my Aunt who was a Nurse during the Korean war and my father (I was adopted) who became a CG Commander and the war they had *during* the war. My Aunt was the best field nurse and received medals, of course her younger brother had to be better than that in his mind. Grandma sewed clothing for soldiers and many of her friends worked in factories building warcraft. They were good at what they did but as soon as the husbands and sons came home, these women were relegated to being a "housewife". They were taught not only to be women but able to do everything in case the husband did not come home. Grandpa worked on diesel engines and did the rest of his life. He was never told to go home because his services were no longer needed.

You see, the war of the sexes has been going on for a very long time as has this weird societal influence. Those of us that are older were brought up very differently than the 20-30 somethings of today. They seem to share more and more tolerant of we perceive as differences. There are still some barriers and square boxes but overall they tend to use what talents they have together. I see this in my son and the girls he dates - he's had a very diverse sexual upbringing because I didn't want him in a square box. I find this conversation with many mothers of his age, we were adamant our son's be more sensitive to discrimination against them and others and to defend or break walls when they see them.

But for us...we are stuck in a way. As an older wife I feel my husband is a competition to not only earn a good income but have the body strength needed to do pretty much anything that needs to be done. He can change his looks if he wants - I'm stuck trying to desperately look remotely feminine.
It takes me an hour to wear a good matching outfit having changed clothes 5 times. It looks great on the hanger at the store, it looks like hell on me. Make up is difficult to get "right". Now he wants me to teach him how to do all that - waaaaaaiiiiiitttttt!!!!! I can barely do this myself and had to watch other women, then use books, then use the internet to get something remotely close that shows off my natural curves and facial features.
This has taken me years to figure out. My body, as a female, has changed so many times I can barely keep up. Now you, a man, want me to teach you how to look as good if not better in a short span of time?

I think if 'our' men took the time to learn on their own, to not try to compete with us but compliment us then there wouldn't be such a division of emotions. If our man does not over emphasise a feminine pose, I think we'd feel less weirded out. Only paid models pose like that - you ever notice your wife sit on the edge of the couch, back arched, head tossed back every single time she sits down? No. Not unless you paid her and even then, has she shied from the camera? Most will, do and have so you need to figure out what kind of life your wife has had first *before* dressing up.

Find a way to take the competition out of it. Find a way for her to be doing something she feel she is truly capable of outside the home and I'll bet there would be less resistance. There are probably a few men thinking right now about the kind of life their wives have had and their reaction when they came to them as CD'er.

This is really the one time us wives and SO's need for you as men to 'problem solve'. While it is a mostly foisted male trait, we need your help to do that first before the skirt and heels go on. Buy us spa days. Buy us massages. Buy us whatever it is you know we like that is rare and we've always said makes us feel more female. Indulge us and you will be indulged in return.
Really, you will.