cdkelsi, I have purged once myself. I know in my heart what the motivation was: rejection of my need to dress. Now I say "need", but then I thought "desire", like I could turn it off or repress it. So soon after getting rid of the clothing, I still had the craving.
It wasn't until a few weeks ago that I finally accepted myself. My perspective changed completely! There is nothing wrong with this! It is not evil or harmful. I really believe that if something as illogically simple as donning girl's clothes makes us feel so great, what could be wrong with it? I don't think God is playing some cruel joke on us. My advice is to accept yourself and purchase a special item of clothing as a visual tribute and reminder of your self-acceptance.
As for thinking of men, I think that's another opportunity for acceptance. I'm not implying any of this is easy. For now maybe just try to be easy on yourself.
Take care,
Mandy
