Has all CDer's had a same sex experience

[Sugar]

I'm with you honey. I'm about the person, the moment, the sparks flying.

I feel the need to make a disclaimer. I've been in a relationship with a post-op transexual. She was great. My only other relationships have been with GG's. They were great too. I never cheated on any of them.


Sugar

I'm totally bisexual and very proud of it. If I want to be with a lover, it's about the person, not what's between their legs. Everyone is beautiful and sexy in their own way - you just have to look.

Hugs 'n smoochies, Marci

[AmandaM]

I tried it, it was okay, didn't do it again. And I "had to be" a woman while involved. Couldn't see a man-and-man thing. That thought was turning me off at the time.

[Lora Olivia]

Amazing to me that so much research (Kinsey etc.) has shown that many men have had a same sex encounter and yet it seems that the cd community seems like very few. Is it really that way or is it a biased question. For me i have long said i was ambisexual...could do it with either hand....in reality I am bigendered and for me to be fulfilled instead of just (him) being gratified a hetero (me being with a man) encounter may well be desired and may never be consumated

[DonnaWanna]

Yes, I have had a same sex experience more than once while cd'ing and it was very pleasureable.

[jessbcuzz]

No! My rear end is marked "exit only, do not enter"!

[Billijo49504]

KIM, As I've said before, my first died of cancer, after 13 years. And my next has been going for 23 yrs and we are going for 24, on Nov 9. She is my world. A long time ago, she told me, I don't care what you drag home, as long as it's not another woman. Well there have been jeeps, rabits and many dogs. I've now settled for rescued grey hounds. And I just last week hauld home a 14 ft fishing boat and motor. She said wow!! We can go fishing. How can you beat that attitude...BJ

[paulaluvssz8]

The question was not to judge any of you. But thanks for being so open to us all here.

My wife isn't tolerant to CDing, a very unforgiving person. A small town girl who was raised very conservitive. And I have been encouraged by others here, to have her to come here for support. She ask the question when I opened up to her about my CDing, "Are you Gay?" Well NO.... But that is her perception due to society and its stance on the subject. My fear if she were to come here that she would assume that her fears were true and that I was gay because there are some here that are BI or Gay. I am not judging you and I want you all to be very happy in what ever your life brings to you. I just wanted to express my fears about the site.

[kaitlyna]

Well, I'm not quite sure what label my sexuality would get, so I'll avoid that for now. I've had sexual encounters with a couple of men; best friend, friend and his wife, even one on one with a gay man. I've never done it while dressed, though that is something I'm interested in someday. I would love to be with an understanding guy and my wife while dressed. While I do enjoy sex with other men occasionally, I'm not necessarily attracted to them. I'll elaborate; Sexual acts are fine, but I'm not into kissing and I don't really look at guys and think "God he's hot". I can recognize when a guy is attractive, but don't look at them nearly the way I do when I see a smokin' hot woman. Luckily my wife is bi and very understanding and accepting of me just for me. In fact when I asked her, before I told her about my experiences, what her biggest sexual fantasy was she said it was to see 2 guys together. Well, did I have a surprise for her. Of course one of the hottest things for her is to see 2 guys kiss, and that's the one thing I don't really care for. I guess if I had to label myself, I'd probably say bi with a bit of favor towards the female half.

[missattitude]

yes. i love men. i am a gay wouldnt have it no other way

[Raquel June]

Wow I guess I one of few here then, I am bisexual.

I don't think it's that few. I guess I shouldn't speculate about numbers, but straight CDs are much more likely to talk about their hetero-ness (out of defense for the inherently kinky non-hetero image of CDing) than bi CDs are to talk about their bi-ness, and there are definitely bi CDs who claim to be totally straight.

There's this stigma about bisexuality. People think bi means "I'll screw anything that moves," when (for males) it's more likely to mean, "I may not be particularly attracted to guys, but I'm just not hung up on labels and I'm not worried whether people think I'm gay or not." In that context, straight guys are more likely to be worried about being viewed as gay, so they're more likely to mention that they're straight.

There's also a difference between your occasional thoughts and your reality. If you're (a male) bisexual, as soon as you get into a monogamous relationship with a woman, you really should be considering yourself hetero out of respect for the woman you're with. And vice versa, if you're bi and you're in a monogamous relationship with a guy, you need to consider yourself gay because anything else is basically an attack on your partner. You can't be bi-sexual if you're only sexual with one gender.

I suppose there should be another category ... straight-curious? I'm not grossed out by the idea of sex with a guy, but I don't find guys attractive. If I'm en femme I might do something with another guy en femme, but I'm not going to be weird and creepy and aggressive about it. To be honest, what really turns me on is feeling like someone's really into me, so maybe I could fool around with a guy, but I could never take seriously the idea of an actual relationship with a guy. I think we all want some kind of long-term loving relationship, and I do think that falling in love with another guy is something that could never happen to me.

I think a lot of what CDing is is about the gender roles where girls get to be the pretty ones and guys are supposed to chase them around. I wanna be the pretty one and have girls chase me around. I guess that's not gonna happen, though.

No general statements can be made concerning CDing as it is not a thing in itself, but rather a common response to a variety of conditions, just as a cough or fever are symptoms common to several unrelated ailments

I dunno, I think we've all got closely related fevers

No! My rear end is marked "exit only, do not enter"!

That wasn't the question... I've never been "entered" by a guy, but I've done a few things that would be considered a same sex experience.

[Chrissy8888]

This is just my way of thinking. I am not really attracted to guys. I am women though. However what I look for in a women is a girly girl. I do think some of that is my cross dressing. I have experimented with a guy once. It was not super sexual in any way, just mostly oral stuff. When I walked away from this I was left neutral. Which is different than what I thought. I figured it would be one of two scenarios. I would either be head over heels with the experience or so sickened that I would need psychological help. Instead it was like OK, I didn’t really enjoy it, but I didn’t hate it either. That was about 5 years ago. Now I am kind of at a point where I really would just like to find somebody (male or female) that loves me and accepts me for who I am. I will always have that fantasy of having hot sex with a man. I have these feelings when dressed and in drab. Having said that, that I have same feelings about women. Am I bi, gay, bi-curious, or totally straight? You know what I don’t really know or care. Forget the labels, at least for me. I am sure that there are some that want sex, hey who doesn’t. I just want to be loved and cared for and return the same feelings and emotions to my partner. I don’t walk down the street and think that all guys are hot, but I don’t walk down the street thinking that all women are hot either. I look at the person. So what happens is what happens. I will be fine with it.

[KatherinePaige]

I have never had a same sex experience but when I dress the urge is very strong, with that said I couldn't bring myself to have a encounter with a masculine dressed male, She would undoubtedly have to be En Femme.

[battybattybats]

Perhaps we should have an anonymous poll and encourage everyone to vote. A survey of posting members to see what the demographics here actually are?

[Farrah]

My wife only!

[ReginaS]

I have never been with a man and have been only in relationships with gg's but there is some level of fantasy around being perceived by a man as a beautiful woman and, while there is not much I would do sexually, I do think I would *please* a man. It seems like it would be a feeling of feminine power.

[Eva Marie]

. . .about having relationships with men and women. So it made me wonder how many CDer's have done this and is this a reason for some who CD to help them identify their sexual idenity...

Paula prefaces two questions with, " . . . having relationships with men and women." If we take this literally, then it must be a threesome, but we're left to guess about what sort of relationship. Nonetheless, my answer is "yes", however it may be interpreted. The second question must also certainly be "yes" because "some who CD", as several have already reported, are "hetero" when "in drab" and "bisexual" when "dressed". On that one, I'll go along with the crowd. (I must miss grading papers.)

[Lucypink]

I am Happy as I am, but I want to be Lucy for a full weekend, going out for shopping, dinner and night clubing with some CD Friends, and next day start as Lucy with breakfast just to do every thing all over again. I do not think that being with another men will make any diference for me.
I have never been atracted or been with a man. So far I am not intrested in men, but I do not discard the posibility that I could meet a CD that changes my mind in one of this weekend adventures...
Lucy.

[Maddie]

kim i am like 36 yrs only 1 woman

i love her deeply

also i know from expirence that guys are messy (giggle)

Maddie

[Raquel June]

[SIZE="1"]I feel that we are all born bi and it is just the environment and social constriants put on certain people that they feel they have to conform to what they believe is normality.
Don't you find that those who claim to be very macho and Hetro are the ones that really have desires for a "gay" relationship or experience.[/SIZE]

I think that's going a bit far to say the super-macho types are secretly gay (a lot of people say that).

I heard a few Loveline shows where Dr. Drew talked about a study where they gave many people ... well, I forget what kind of a scan it was. I don't think it was an MRI or PET scan, but something where you could see brain activity. Anyway, female brains didn't have much of a reaction to seeing porn, but when talking about relationships their brains would totally light up. Males brains would totally light up when looking at porn, in the same way it would for any other major biological drive. Then most males that were shown guy-on-guy porn would have the reaction of a severe threat, like their life was in danger.

I'll have to find one of the shows again, because it's a little fuzzy. But the point was that those reactions can be linked to being legitimately scared of and threatened by gay-ness (not just simply "not into it"), but it's not the same as secretly liking it.

[akaCathy]

I've enjoyed the company of men while dressed in drab and also a CD sister where we were both dressed. I look at the person and not at the sex. I have been married a very long time and love my wife dearly. We enjoy a wonderful and loving relationship. I told her of my bisexuality before we wed. I have yet to experience a man while dressed, but would love to experience this side of my femininity.

[MarinaTwelve200]

Don't really like that analogy, Marina, but I get it.

You a pro psych person?

I was reluctant to use that analogy too, but I couldn't think of anything else at the moment.---Notice I use the word CONDITION rather than "disorder" to describe motivations for CDing. I AM sensitive about things myself.

No, but I have had a life long interest in Psych. I have also had Psych courses (which I ACED, BTW). I didnt like the work prospects for Psychology, so I got my advanced degrees in one of the "hard" (rather than "fuzzy") Sciences.

I have my own take on Psychology---after reading all I can and could on the subject, usung the data and applying hard science techniques to it---rather than build on the early theories developed when much less was known about the mind---which still prevail today.

My own work with Artificial intellegence models has further refined my ideas on how the mind works, and I have made several interesting discoveries on my own (some of which I see varified in the work of other people)

Not to be bragging, I would put myself up against ANYBODY in the feild of Psychology and Functional analysis.

[mattie]

I consider myself completely heterosexual. And when dressed, I suppose I become a lesbian

[Jazzmine]

Just women for me thanks!

I've wondered about whether there is a bi side to me. All my sexual fantasies are with women, and in particular, my wife. The gay or bi thing just doesn't get me going, in fact has the opposite effect, even when dressed.

I can understand the visual/emotional turn on of being dressed and acting like a women. I get that side of it, but my fantasy would be to have a woman enjoy this experience with me, not a man.

Also, everything about women turns me on. On the other hand men seem clumsy and gross in comparison. To take it further, sexually I see other men as competitors for the women I would/could fall in love with, so in this regard my attitude is like a hot blooded male or lesbian protecting their loved one. It's kind of hard to then be attracted to a man after that!

Now having said all that, I have seen some stunning ******** etc that are just beautiful looking women. Knowing that they are anatomically men puts me off somewhat, but I do feel totally jealous of their undeniable sex appeal. And you have to wonder, as an open minded CD, how you would react if you had fallen for a beautiful woman, only to find she was once a he. Certainly would put the tomcat amongst my feathered desires!

Hugs Jazzmine

[EveMarie]

I had my first (shall we call it "experimental") encounter with a male partner when I was 16. Since then I have found I am "Bi" in the sexual area, but as far as relationships I have been a strict heterosexual. I love being a woman, I love looking at mens asses , and love even more being with a woman as a woman. I have been married 4 times, never to a man, have had affairs with a man, but don't think I could ever live with a man as a "partner" or otherwise.

I am the true cliché - A lesbian trapped inside a man's body.

[Raquel June]

mrsb1975:

I'm not sure why you deleted your posts...

I don't think we're on different wavelengths. I just think when you say things like "everyone is born bi," many people (mostly the people who are hardcore about their hetero-ness) will either get very defensive or else totally tune you out. It's a biological fact that many men are extremely threatened and horrified by the idea of doing something gay. I think it's correct to call that homophobia, and many people have it; it doesn't make you a bad person -- but the term homophobia is often associated with hatred (not necessarily true), so there's another reason that homophobic people will get defensive because they don't necessarily hate gay people.

Anyway, I think to be honest I would have to apply a label of somewhat non-practicing bisexual to myself. I'd like to be a pretty girl, sleep next to a girl at night, make out with whoever I want on the weekend, and be left the hell alone the rest of the time. I'm thinking that's too much to ask, though.