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Thread: Why Don't Crossdressers Make Progress?

  1. #76
    Trans Species Joy Carter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JoAnnDallas View Post
    Joy Carter.........sound like you have a perfect case of "Sexual discrimination" that you could have brought against you company. Here in Dallas, TX the city passed anti-discrimination law that protect T-Girls in the work place and in public. If it were to happen to me, I would walk into the HR department and flat them them that I was going to file suit about it. I would see a scramble to prevent me from filing the suit. Most companies will bend over back wards not to be sued for "Sexual Harassment" even if the company, ciry, or state does not cover T-Girls. Harassment is illegal regardless of the content.

    Not in Ohio. In fact after three years of being harassed at all levels, including by the department head. I went to HR and the head boss. Things got worse from there, even though I was promised something would be done. I was told that the whole thing was my fault in the first place. Maybe I ought to write a book.

  2. #77
    Banned Read only battybattybats's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Melinda G View Post
    Hmmm. After reading all the posts, I'm left wondering what exactly are we seeking? You want to dress up and go out. Do it. Nothing is going to happen to you, if you use a little common sense. If you go out late at night in a bad area, you might get beat up and robbed. But you would probably get beat up and robbed dressed as a guy, in the same area, late at night.
    If somebody "makes you", so what. Assault is still a crime, no matter what you are wearing. If somebody makes you, you might hear a few snickers or remarks, but not likely. But even gays put up with that. It's not a perfect world, and never will be.
    In most cases, if you look reasonably passable, and conduct yourself appropriately, you will have no problems. If you can't stand an occasional stare, I guess you better stay home. No laws are ever going to eliminate that.
    What are we seeking? Maybe we should first ask, 'what should we be seeking'.

    Lets see... (In no particular order of importance)

    Adding gender expresion to any hate crime legislation (Don't start a debate about whether there should be hate crime legislation please, thats a seperate issue. The fact is that where there is such legislation religion is usually covered but gender expression often isn't. Abolishing the lot may be your preferance but where/while it does exist gender expression should be included!)

    Employment protection for gender expression especially for transexuals or in home life. People have been fired simply because someone discovered they crossdress at home or when going out even when that has no effect whatsoever at work. People have been fired for transitioning.

    Programs to stamp out phobic bullying and violence at schools and in the broader community. There has been enough murders and it's time something was done about it. The number of trans people murdered already this year is absolutely horrific!

    Quality support systems to lower the collosal suicide rate amongst transgender people.

    Help for oppressed transgender people in other countries. Crossdressers risk abusive prison or execution in some countries!

    In countries with public health services ensuring hormones, srs etc are all appropriatly covered.

    Transgender people are dissproportionately homeless, this needs to be addressed.

    A significant number of trans people around the world are forced into prostitution because of employment discrimination. No matter peoples views on the criminality or regulation of prostitution, providing help for those who want out of it so they have other employment options should be in the list.

    Thats a few off the top of my head. Any other suggestions?

  3. #78
    The Girl Next Door Sally24's Avatar
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    I have to disagree that we aren't making any progress. I don't see that many stories in the news, but sometimes that is a good thing. In New England we are going loud and strong. We have 3 or 4 very active groups. One even meets in a pretty low key restarant and they love them there! I've gone out with a number of girls 2 or 3 of us at a time to malls and stores in the daylight and not had any problems here. Many of us are passable but not all of the time. I think the more people recognize us, the easier it is for us to be out and about.
    Sally

  4. #79
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    There Are Just To Many Of Us In The Closet

    I love what Genifer and Jamie said we have more Cd's still in the closet then Cd's who go out and that is so true. As for making progress we have made on our own,........ none the progress that we have is from the fight that the gay community has done, we Cd's are still fighting about pass.


    LA CINDY LOVE

  5. #80
    Banned Read only battybattybats's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LA CINDY LOVE View Post
    none the progress that we have is from the fight that the gay community has done, we Cd's are still fighting about pass.
    Without the gay communities support crossdressing would still be illegal in many countries!

    There have been very good supportive allies for transgender people amongst the gay community.

    With their help many discriminations have been overturned. When certain members of the gay rights movement abandoned us the greatest proportion of LGBT groups sided with us!

    The gay community is not our enemy but our ally. Sure there are transphobics amongst them just as there are homophobics amongst us. Still the fact is that the gay community has indeed won us progress.

    I think we need to get better organised. I think we need to create more safe spaces for people to be free to dress in, anonymously (CD masquerade parties anyone?) for those deeply closeted to help slowly draw people out of the closet.

    I think we need ways to make some degree of activism a part of the crossdressing experience. Get CD online stores to donate a small percentage of profit of certain items to TG causes and encourage people to support them. Build strong inclusive tolerant communities in regional centres to help more people have a place to go, people to support them as they come out. Get people to volunteer time as well as money to help things like trans friendly homeless shelters.

    Caring, nurturing, giving, supporting, all traditionally feminine qualities. So lets bring them into part of our crossdressing experience for the benefit of ourselves and the community.

  6. #81
    Member RikkiOfLA's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by battybattybats View Post
    There have been very good supportive allies for transgender people amongst the gay community.

    I think we need to get better organised.

    I think we need ways to make some degree of activism a part of the crossdressing experience.
    I agree! Well said, sister!

    Blessings,
    Rikki Chunn

  7. #82
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    scolarship for college kids

    In Washington DC you will find many congressional staffers in their 20's, not so much in their 30's. The energy and blind passion needed to engage in political activism is often found amongst the youth. People become more synical with politics as they get older.

    Caught cross-dressing can be political suicide for any college aged kid interested in a future run for office. But this is not as damaging for the behind the scenes guys and lobbiests. The real movers, shakers and money makers.

    Lets face it cross dressing can be very expensive and can be quite intimidating. Might I suggest creating scolarships for makeovers and trips en femme for college age CD's who have an interest in experimenting with a political carrear REGARDLESS OF PARTY AFFILIATION and at any level. Local state, or federal, with the intent to infilitrate the system, and offering a network of business contacts for them, in case they were to be discovered and would need a financial safety net.
    Last edited by Kimmie; 05-04-2008 at 02:53 PM.

  8. #83
    Silver Member victoriamwilliams1's Avatar
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    My .02 cents!

    As stated, it is hard to place us in the minds of the people and it gets kind of confusing. Now if Oprah covers our community then mind could change if it is covered correctly.

  9. #84
    Leisure Lady Vivian Best's Avatar
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    I think part of our problem with society is that we have too much to loose! When you say you could loose your family and job if it's found out you are a CDr...that my friends is a large price to pay!

    The gays and lesbeins didn't get recognized over night. It took decades and decades. Who among us has the fortitude to step out and say I'm a CDr and I feel good about it and here is what people like me do. We are not perverts, molesters, sexual deviates we are just men that prefers women's clothing. We feel we have a right to choose to dress the way we want. As does any other citizen of this world.

    Things like that are going to have to happen over and over and over again until it is assimilated in to the consciousness of everyone that there is nothing to fear from us. We are normal just like everyone else. Who will our champion be?
    Vivian

  10. #85
    Hard 2 Quit! KateSpade83's Avatar
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    They made it illegal to discriminate against gays in Illinois, but I still got discriminated at Pentair. 5 months into the contract to perm job they said they wanted to make me permanent but the buyout was expensive. Then they find out "I'm gay" [only crossdress] and then they restructure me out of my job. And if I sued I could be blacklisted, but my recruiter was good to me and I didn't want to offend him.

    Now I look for jobs nationwide instead of the discriminatory ones in Chicago. Lost many jobs in Chicago when they found out, and I typically run into a low life factory worker who wants to bring me down with gay gossip. That's why my current NASA job is awesome! No factory workers here, and actually they have one employee who had a sex change to be female. Maybe Gov jobs are protected?

  11. #86
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    To answer the question in your last sentence, "who will our champion be?".

    There is one and only one answer. If we are to make any progress it has to be "OURSELVES". We have to get the heck out of the closet and be proud of who we are and what we wear. Until then, we will not make much progress.

    Also, we need to realize that most of the fear is in our own minds. Another thing is that if we loose any friends, then they were never real friends to begin with and we are much better off without them!!

    :2c: Jamie


    Quote Originally Posted by Vivian Best View Post
    I think part of our problem with society is that we have too much to loose! When you say you could loose your family and job if it's found out you are a CDr...that my friends is a large price to pay!

    The gays and lesbeins didn't get recognized over night. It took decades and decades. Who among us has the fortitude to step out and say I'm a CDr and I feel good about it and here is what people like me do. We are not perverts, molesters, sexual deviates we are just men that prefers women's clothing. We feel we have a right to choose to dress the way we want. As does any other citizen of this world.

    Things like that are going to have to happen over and over and over again until it is assimilated in to the consciousness of everyone that there is nothing to fear from us. We are normal just like everyone else. Who will our champion be?
    You will become stronger in the ways of the Pink Fog. May the Pink Fog guide you and be with you now and forever.

  12. #87
    Maturing Member JoAnnDallas's Avatar
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    Reading about the anti-discrimination law that was passed back in 2001 here in Dallas, TX. I found that it was the GLB community that fought the hardest and loudest to get the T community included in the final draft of the law. If the Dallas T community had tried just on their own, it would not have happened. The GLB community is very good to us here in DFW.

  13. #88
    Swishy Pirate CaptLex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by victoriamwilliams1 View Post
    Now if Oprah covers our community then mind could change if it is covered correctly.
    That's what I thought when she had the pregnant transman on, but all that did was stir up a hornet's nest of hatred with her viewers.
    But why is the rum gone?! - Capt. Jack Sparrow [SIZE="1"]Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl[/SIZE]

    Why is the rum always gone? - Capt. Jack Sparrow [SIZE="1"]Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest[/SIZE]

    Why is all but the rum gone? No, the rum's gone too . . .
    - [SIZE="1"]Pirates of the Caribbean: At World End[/SIZE]

    [SIZE="3"]Lex on the Beach[/SIZE]. . . [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  14. #89
    Member Kimberly Kael's Avatar
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    I see many of the obvious reasons have been raised and discussed, and I can't disagree with any of them. While we have benefited tremendously from the collective GLBT movement there's simply no way we can stay out of sight and hope someone else will fight for the kind of recognition and rights we deserve. We got a free ride this far at someone else's risk and while their sacrifice has brought us this far it's time to do our piece and not forget the debt of gratitude we owe.

    Quite simply: more of us need to be out giving society a positive impression of what it means to be transgendered (feel free to pick your favorite term, just avoid the infighting over what exactly they mean and who gets to use what terms.) I've never felt the activist bug before in my life but I feel very strongly about this issue. I've gone from being afraid to really explore my own identity to being out in public in about two years, and I've started outing myself to more and more people I know. It was scary at first but I don't regret a single step so far. Ideally I'd like to be out at work though I'm not setting a timeline for taking that step just yet.

    I think one of the challenges we face is that while many gay / lesbian couples had to out themselves to be in public together, TG/CDers face no such hurdles. In fact most of our SOs would probably see being outed as limiting their social opportunities, not expanding them ... and that's presuming your SO knows in the first place! So in this case I believe activism begins at home. If we can't find a way to talk to our partners and build acceptance there, how do we think we'll get society at large to do so?
    ~ Kimberly

    “To escape criticism do nothing, say nothing, be nothing." - Elbert Hubbard

  15. #90
    Banned Read only battybattybats's Avatar
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    All we have gained could be lost
    http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1286028

    I guess there is a new thing for the list i made in my earlier post.

    Now we have to fight to keep what we have gained. To keep the options of SRS and hormones.

    We now may have to fight for our very feminity and masculinity.

  16. #91
    Maturing Member JoAnnDallas's Avatar
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    My Tri-Ess chapter is doing thier part. We do out-reach at the local colleges, Police and Fire Departments on Transgendered issues. Also we can now get a Texas State ID card with our fem picture on it. Thus I can have my Texas DL with my drab picture and a seperate offcial ID card with my fem picture on it. Can come in handy when traveling en fem, going thru TSA at the airport, checking into a Hotel, entering a casino, and anywhere you need to show offical ID. Not bad price either, since I am 60. It would only cost me $5 and good for rest of my life.

  17. #92
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    I agreed...

    with you. I have posted a similar thought here on the subject. I dream about a Utopia place where men can wear anything they want without being judged by society. I only have bought clothes from my VS catalogue lately and I have been questioned by friends: Is that a blouse? is that a ladies sweater? is that a female jeans? and they are atonished when I answered them: Yes it is!

  18. #93
    Banned Read only battybattybats's Avatar
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    I'm thinking that what could be really useful is a guide for crossdressers, how to make a difference.

    From how to be safer when out, how to come out etc through to how to fight for progress.

    My guess is that the average crossdresser is oblivious to many of the issues that effect them and their sisters/brothers nor how to do anything about it.

    It could help build community, help make the lives of CDs easier and better and help build the strength and numbers of neccessary activism.

  19. #94
    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
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    I agree with what you say in principle Batty but no one is really that altruistic. With mixed agendas and human emotions being what they are, it's very tough to get a group of people organized for a common goal and be totally agreeable on how to proceed. Believe me, I know.
    Second star to the right and straight on till morning

  20. #95
    Banned Read only battybattybats's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Salandra View Post
    I agree with what you say in principle Batty but no one is really that altruistic. With mixed agendas and human emotions being what they are, it's very tough to get a group of people organized for a common goal and be totally agreeable on how to proceed. Believe me, I know.
    Those who hate transgender people manage to. Enough to make it hard for us to obtain our rights and tio ensure we keep having to protect them once we get them.

    Plenty of people are altruistic (there's been some fascinating studies on it in behavioural psych circles). We may not be able to get everyone together but we might get enough.

    There was an interesting article on the radio this morning that altruistic people are healthier, live longer and suffer less depression. Good enough reason as any for us to be more altruistic.

    Besides, a lot of us are trauamatised and feel isolated because of the discrimination we have faced. Building ourselves into a more diverse and tolerant community is exactly part of the broader healing we need precisely because it's hard for us because of what we've bee through.

  21. #96
    Aspiring Member Joann0830's Avatar
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    I have to say even thou we are not in the limelight of the newspaper, We have made a considerable push in the right direction. Look at the many bills that have been passed inregards to men wearing womans clothes. Look at all of the organizations that we belong too and how many there are and still growing. Also the establishments that have opened the doors to a great many Cross dressing organizations. My Tri Ess group here in New Jersey, we have a store that allows us to shop at a special time so that those who would like to keep their secret. We even have a Wig store that makes a special trip for us and allows us to shop in privacy and also helps us in picking out a style that will suit the person. We even have a church minister come and talk to us and also contacts have been made in hotel chains where we can have our meetings and dont forget our Fashion shows and junkets to places wher we can just be who we really are. There is a club in New York City called Lips which is not in a back room, its right out in the main frame and is on the internet if you would like to see for yourself that has great entertainment by of course some of the most talented CDMs I have ever seen. I guess this is my way of saying we have advanced and I am happy that we are not in the news as we are like everyone and the newspapers like to post the bad things which mean we are not bad. I am sorry if I became Long winded but we have traveled far on the venture of being accepeted. To All you Ladies here and to the founder of this website Thank You for bringing us closer to being reckonized. Love to All you Special Ladies and the supportive Spouses Joann0830

    BTW read some of the posts here from Ladies who prove that we are going places from how to protect ourselves to the Best stores to shop.
    Last edited by Joann0830; 05-07-2008 at 11:04 PM.

  22. #97
    Jean skirts 'n boots. RockerTerri's Avatar
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    Uuurgh...I dont know what to say or how to say it, so i am going to try my best. I am TS, and have known so for years. I am single, i am still in college, i am moving across the country specifically so i can avoid a lot of the issues many TS face, such as worry at work or while out, that someone will see you, discover you, and that your career/marriage/whatever will suffer as a result. I plan to attend school, get a job, get my driver's license, all as Terri. In one crescendo of action, i plan to at last, begin to resolve the pain and grief and angst i have felt for years.

    And a lot of us do not have that option. While the life many TS have may not be the life they want, they have things to lose, and those things can well be jeopardized by unwanted publicity. The life they have may not be perfect, but the risk that they may take by striving for their goals may be worse than the rewards. It certainly shouldnt be that way, and unity, publicity, fair representation in the media, are all things we need to make changes happen. Unfortunately, doing this requires people to take risks that many dont want to take....so we have a vicious circle.

    If given a chance, would i make my voice heard? I dont know....lets say that all goes as i hope it will, and that i, after going fulltime, or after SRS, have a career, a group of dear friends...a relationship? Would i risk all of that, once i attain it? I dont know. Its easy to say "yeah, i will stand up and fight" right now, because i have nothing to lose atm. In the same vein, if i do attain such a goal, i would want to do everything in my power to ensure other people have the same opportunity. What to DO?

    We all know what the right thing to do is. Its just much scarier to do it, than it is to talk about it. We all have different levels of motivation, different drives. If anyone has any ideas, i am all ears.

  23. #98
    Senior Member emmicd's Avatar
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    Crossdressing for most is done in secret and most crossdressers live "normal" lives with the exception of having a strong desire to dress in female clothes.

    Not many publically display this desire.

    The only crossdressers that I see in public if they indeed are crossdressers are a small percentage of rockstars.

  24. #99
    Banned Read only battybattybats's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RockerTerri View Post
    If given a chance, would i make my voice heard? I dont know....lets say that all goes as i hope it will, and that i, after going fulltime, or after SRS, have a career, a group of dear friends...a relationship? Would i risk all of that, once i attain it? I dont know. Its easy to say "yeah, i will stand up and fight" right now, because i have nothing to lose atm. In the same vein, if i do attain such a goal, i would want to do everything in my power to ensure other people have the same opportunity. What to DO?

    We all know what the right thing to do is. Its just much scarier to do it, than it is to talk about it. We all have different levels of motivation, different drives. If anyone has any ideas, i am all ears.
    Just as those of us completely in the closet there are still ways to help. Donating to advocate groups, signing petitions, everything a non-trans ally or closeted CD can do.

    People being out helps, but if you feel you can't do that once you transition there are still ways to help others.. they call it 'going stealth' to leave your trans history behind, so be a women Ninja, a stealth warrior who fights for whats right in secret.

  25. #100
    Maturing Member JoAnnDallas's Avatar
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    I have a copy of "How to be a Trans Ally". Don't remember where I got it from, but if anyone would like a copy, PM me with your email address and I will send you a copy.

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